The NBA's Ethnicity Experiment

During and after last week's NBA draft, I was put off by the fuss many pundits were making about the influx of foreign draftees. "Geez, I can't pronounce these weird names," they complained. I understand that it's harder for fans (myself included) to get psyched up about guys they've never seen play, but there was clearly a xenophobic tone to it all. But SI's Phil Taylor raises a very interesting question: will the league benefit from the fact that most of these foreign players are white?

"If nothing else, the new international flavor of the league is setting up a fascinating sociological experiment: What is more important to the American sporting consumer -- race or culture? Clearly, some fans have been turned off by the urban, hip-hop, go-for-the-dunk-and-damn-the-fundamentals feel of the predominantly black NBA. Will those people like the league better if it's populated by more Caucasians whose names they can't pronounce? If Antoine Walker and Jermaine O'Neal don't suit your taste, will you really prefer Zarko Cabarkapa or Sofoklis Schortsanitis?"

I'm guessing that the overall popularity of the NBA in America won't depend on race or culture. The NBA will alway's be about individual stars. When the next transcendent icon emerges, whether it's LeBron or Darko, he'll resurrect the league single-handedly.

 
The Ultimate Anticlimax

When I heard the news today that Katherine Hepburn had died I had an all-too-familiar reaction: guilt. Guilt because I assumed that she was already dead. I had this same reaction with Gregory Peck's death two weeks ago and Dean Martin's passing a few years back. It's quite sad actually- we tend to ignore all of the lving screen legends of yesteryear because they're no longer young and hip. And when icons like Bob Hope, Kirk Douglas and Elizabeth Taylor (who are all still alive, by the way) are discussed it's only to speak glowingly about their storied pasts. In doing so we end up eulogizing them prematurely.

 
NBA Draft Thoughts

* While I'm glad the Warriors avoided the BAWGs, I'm not too thrilled about their pick of Mickael Pietrus- Reece Gaines would have been better. Tom Tolbert said it best: why pick up yet another swingman when we already have five of them? To me, this guy looks like a Jason Richardson clone, so I'm hoping that a trade is in the works. How about sending Pietrus and a bench player to Milwaukee for one of their point guards? Surely the Bucks don't need Payton, Cassell, Michael Redd and TJ Ford.

* Speaking of which, I was surprised at how many teams drafted guys at positions where they're already stocked. Not only did the Warriors and Bucks clog their rosters, but the Knicks got another undersized forward (Mike Sweetney) and Memphis got yet another point guard (Troy Bell). Why do teams draft guys who have little chance of getting significant minutes?

* Is it at all possible for Dick Vitale to say anything negative about anyone who played college basketball?

* A lot of people questioned the timing of Kobe Bryant's announcement yesterday that he'll pursue free agency next summer. But I think it's a great move for him. By spreading the word now, before the free agent season, NBA GMs can reserve some future salary cap space if they want to make a run at him in 2004. I'm guessing he'll end up in Memphis.

* As was the case at the NFL Draft, EA Sports came up large with their TV commercial. I can't put my finger on why, but I love the retro ad featuring Carmelo, Hinrich and Bosh as "The Rookies."

* It was a surprisingly uneventful year for NBA Draft Fashion. LeBron stole the show with his all-white ensemble, and the black-and-white shoes (a la Casey Jacobsen) were a nice touch. Worst-dressed has to go to Carmelo Anthony, who looked ridiculous having only one of six buttons fastened. The cornrows sticking out of the baby blue cap didn't do it for me either.

* I'm as excited about anyone about LeBron James, but the one aspect I dread is how every game will come with some new hype angle. When he plays the Lakers, it'll be "Lebron vs. Kobe!" Then, "LeBron takes on Carmelo!" "LeBron sizes up Yao!" "Lebron visits the house Jordan built!" I can already smell the Sportscenter anchors salivating.

* Normally I find ESPN's Jay Bilas to be smug and irritating in his college basketball analysis. But I thought he did a great job last night- very informative. He should become a permanent draft guru and be the NBA's answer to Mel Kiper Jr.

* Hey Jason Kapono, still glad you stayed those three extra years with Steve Lavin?

 
Making the Grade

We've been bombarded with a bunch of new reality TV shows lately, most of which were expunged to the summer season because they stink. The problem is that most reality shows now are romance elimination contests, but the best reality shows are behind-the-scenes documentaries. One great example of this is MTV's Making the Band 2. The second season follow's the six hip-hop dreamers as they struggle to come together as a group, record an album and become part of the Bad Boy family. But the real drama is the unending hazing being inflicted by P. Diddy, their patriarch/tyrant. After making them walk four hours across New York City for a slice of cheesecake, Diddy forced his minions to stand outside a building reading aloud Russell Simmons's autobiography. As he keeps saying, becoming a hip-hop star is not a game. The artists are near mutiny, not to mention all the intra-group squabbles that are constantly simmering. I highly recommend you catch this revealing, entertaining look at the rap game.

 
A Blog on BAWGs

As we approch the NBA draft, I feel it is my duty to expose one of the most troubling trends of recent draft history. Despite extensive evidence that would warn against it, NBA GMs have refused to learn from past mistakes and continue to use high picks on Big American White Guys (henceforth referred to as BAWGs). Throughout the last decade, white American shooters like Mike Miller and Wally Szczerbiak have been solid contributors and several white forgeign big men like Dirk Nowitzki and Pau Gasol have done exceptionally well. But for whatever reason, BAWGs drafted in the lottery have been huge, unequivocal flops. I don't mean to be racist here, but I mean, come on- the evidence speaks for itself. Using this terrific Page 2 column as a research tool, I've compiled a list of every American white player 6'9" or taller taken in the lottery since 1992:

'92- Christian Laettner, 3rd overall: It's a travesty he made the Dream Team.

’92- Tom Guglitotta, 6th: I still can’t believe the Warriors traded Chris Webber for this guy.

’92- Adam Keefe, 10th: Sorry to hate on a Stanford guy, but puh-lease.

’93- Shawn Bradley, 2nd: Yes folks, it is possible to be 7’6” and suck at basketball.

’94- Eric Montross, 9th: Great as a Tar Heel, invisible as a Celtic.

’95- Cherokee Parks, 12th: Not only a BAWG, but a Duke player, so how could he not be a bust?

’96- Todd Fuller, 11th: Ugh. The Warriors passed up Kobe, Peja, Steve Nash and Jermaine O’Neal for this chump.

’97 Keith Van Horn, 2nd: The most accomplished player on this list, but not enough for a Number 2 pick.

’98- Raef LaFrentz, 3rd: Third overall? His superb teammate Dirk was taken 9th in this draft.

’00- Chris Mihm, 7th: You know it’s bad when you can’t get off the bench in Cleveland.

’00- Joel Przybilla, 9th: I would make an informed comment here, but I’m not sure this guy actually exists.

’02- Mike Dunleavy Jr., 3rd: Another Duke draft bust. Another Warriors blunder.

There you have it: not a single above-average player. And let’s not forget about all the BAWGs taken after the lottery (Curtis Borchardt anyone?). This is why I am so baffled that Chris Kaman and Nick Collison are projected in the top 10 for Thursday’s draft. Why can’t people learn that sometimes it’s OK to judge a book by its cover? Repeat after me, there has not been a great BAWG since Kevin McHale! So please Golden State, beware the BAWG.

 
Tennis is the Least of Her Worries

One of the stories coming out of Wimbledon concerns an issue much bigger than the sport itself. Ninth seed Daniela Hantuchova has become a cause for concern, not for her play but for her extremely low weight. While obviously no one knows for sure, many have speculated that anorexia is to blame for her alarming thinness (scroll down a third of the page). For all the talk about how male athletes use their body structures to cheat the game (i.e. steroids in baseball), something as sad as Hantuchova's situation reminds us that athletes can also abuse their own bodies. Now I know that the issues causing eating disorders are far deeper than just an athlete with an obsessive training regimen. But hopefully other athletes, both male and female, can look at this and realize that altering your body's natural structure can be very dangerous.

 
THE ROUNDUP

Oh, what would we do without the antics of Jose Canseco. Somehow, Mr. 40/40 managed to test positive for steroids, a year after retiring from baseball, while under house arrest. Can we get him and Lawrence Taylor on a special edition of Celebrity Boxing?

In an interview airing tonight, Bob Costas asked LeBron James whether his allegiance will be towards the Cavs or Nike. LeBron, who still has a lot to learn about media politics, answered "I think it's going to be 50-50." I guess it's understandable given that his Nike contract will be five times as lucrative as his NBA one. So I guess this means Michael Jordan is going to be calling him saying "LeBron, the shoes aren't selling well in Detroit. We need you to give us three windmill dunks against the Pistons."

I don't follow boxing much, but I think I'm going to check out the Lewis-Klitschko fight tomorrow. Since this is the rare fight not on pay-per-view (and since I still get HBO), this is a good opportunity to observe the ridiculous hoopla surrounding a heavyweight fight. I'll watch pretty much any sporting event if the stakes are high. Plus, the good thing about boxing is that it's the only sport where the entire match is sudden-death.

 
The Craig Kilborn Experience

Yesterday I woke up and thought "Gee, I have only one week left living in LA. I don't have much to do today, so why not try to do the one tourist activity I haven't yet done: get into a studio audience." I succeeded in doing just that, as I was in the audience of last night's Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. I don't really like Kilborn and I would rather have seen a sitcom or gameshow, but since we're in summer hiatus season, talk shows are the only thing taping.

Despite the woefully tiny audience of just 87 people, securing tickets on the day of the show was a breeze. I printed my free ticket off their website and showed up at the studio at 3:30. I'm still not sure why they made us arrive a full 2 1/2 hours before the show started, but I do know that the guy in charge of rounding up the audience really hates his job. After suffering though the warm-up-the-crowd comedian, the show began with a performance from Jewel (they film segments out of order). The highlight of her set was actually before she started singing: After some guy yelled out "I love you!", Jewel yelled back "I love you too... no really, I mean I want to have sex with you." Oh, celebrities say the darndest things off camera.

The show itself was a painful reminder of why I never watch The Late Late Show. Kilborn's jokes were lame and smarmy while his interviewing skills were subpar. When talking to Terminator 3's Nick Stahl, Kilborn accidentally called him Arnold. But the worst part was that the stage managers practically held guns to our heads as they made us laugh, cheer and clap until our hands were sore. I'm not sure whether I should even bother trying to attend The Tonight Show next week now that I know how much effort it takes to be a big-time late night audience member. Sure I got to see Jewel's cleavage up close and got on camera for about a second and a half, but was it really worth it?

My new goal is to scour through the flood of acting gigs posted on Craig's List to see if I can win a part as an extra in a music video or something. I'm more than happy to play a towel-waving thug.

 
Bargain Hunter Beware

This week's Newsweek has a great article about the maddeningly complex system of product rebates. I had often wondered why it was that companies were so generous as to knock $40 off a digital camera. But that was before I bought my flat screen computer monitor last fall. The requirements for the rebate were not only ridiculous (I had to cut out a chunk of the box that had the UPC code and price sticker) but hard to find. Best Buy gave me this receipt that was about two feet long and hidden in the fine print were the myriad of instructions I needed to follow. Plus I had to wait several weeks for my check.

I now understand that rebates are not free gifts, but rewards that can only be earned with a significant amount of effort on the buyer's part. Manufacturers know that the average consumer either won't bother to jump through all of the hoops or won't jump them correctly. When company profits are concerned there is no such thing as generosity.

 
The Candy Awards

OK, now on to the topic Ben suggested: greatest candies of all time. This will surely be a highly controversial subject, as BA is regarded as an expert in the field of candy consumption. But I am a fearless blogger and I shall offer my opinions without apologies:

BEST CANDY OF-THE-MOMENT: Snicker's Crunch
I have fallen in love with this bar, as the unique crunchy texture is irresistible. It's not as tough as Nutrageous and not as caramelly as regular Snickers- perfect. I could eat five or six of these things in one sitting. It's the hottest thing on the shelves.

BEST HARD CANDY: Green Apple Jolly Ranchers
I normally find hard candies to be too sweet- candy makers too often focus exclusively on sugar while neglecting flavor. But the green jollies are the exception to the rule. Jolly Ranchers were a staple of my 5th and 6th grade life and hold a special place in my heart.

BEST MOVIE THEATER CANDY: Junior Mints
The way they rattle in the box, the fact that they're easily share-able and the burst of flavor in each piece make these the perfect movie companion.

BEST CANDY THAT ISN'T EXACTLY A CANDY: Yogurt-covered pretzels
As a kid I had always seen these in grocery store bins and thought they looked to weird to try. But after they started packaging them as "Flipz" and someone offered them to me for the first time, I fell in love.

BEST CANDY THAT REQUIRES A SMALL AMOUNT OF SUFFERING: Sour Gummy Worms
I am very sensitive to sour flavors, as my mouth ties up in a knot whenever I eat these things. But these babies are so chewy and flavorful they are well worth the oral aggravation.

BEST CANDY THAT'S NO LONGER ON THE SHELVES: Hershey's Cookies 'n Mint
Why oh why was this delicious chocolate bar mercilessly yanked from shelves? They used to be all over the place but nowadays you'd have to organize a search party to find one.

MOST UNDERRATED CANDY: Peanut Butter M&Ms
They are overshadowed both by Reese's Pieces and the more accessible Peanut M&Ms, but the PB version is the true gem. The pieces are bigger and creamier than Reese's Pieces and I wish you could find these things in vending machines. Besides, Reese's best work comes in the form of...

THE BEST CANDY OF ALL TIME: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Oh, how to describe the joy of cramming a whole one of these in your mouth. These things were pure gold on Halloween- the night's haul could be accurately gauged by how many Cups were in your bag. The mini versions are also highly addictive. Damn, now I'm craving one right now.

 
Dear Readers,

Please excuse the dearth of blog entries over the past week, as I have been at Stanford for the past five days. But now that my sister's graduation hoopla (complete with six aunts, five cousins and one grandma in town) is finally over, I am back in full blog mode. And what better welcome back to LA could I ask for than a live police car chase, which is currently airing on Channel 11? Gee, I'll miss this city.

 
There when you need 'em

Well, it's official. Steve Kerr has become the WD-40 of this year's playoffs: if it's broke, he'll fix it. His two clutch fourth quarter shots last night only gave him five points, but the way he came off the bench and produced were positively Horry-like. Speaking of our favorite Will Smith clone, ESPN's Bill Simmons pointed out that if the Spurs win tomorrow, either Kerr or Horry will have been a part of the last ten NBA champions. Every team needs their lucky charm.

 
The Great College Match-Up, Part 2

The list continues. Man, I could write a book on this.

INDIANA BBALL = ALABAMA FOOTBALL

Rich in tradition, numerous national titles and legendary coaches (not to mention ugly coach firings in recent years) make these schools a perfect match.

FLORIDA BBALL = TEXAS FOOTBALL
Call them the elite underachievers. Both teams have had top recruiting classes in past five years, but haven’t been able to reach full potential on the field. These teams both start the season in the top five but always slip-up and fail to win the conference. And both teams just lost their embattled senior leader (Chris Simms for the Longhorns and Brett Nelson for the Gators)— and may end up better for it. Addition by subtraction?

MICHIGAN ST. BBALL = OHIO ST. FOOTBALL
These programs have long had big success in the Big Ten, but nationally, they’ve been juuust outside the very top tier. However, young new coaches have come in, quickly won a title and have these programs in very strong shape.

SYRACUSE BBALL = USC FOOTBALL
A long list of great players and a history great conference success make these two a good match.

UCONN BBALL = TENNESSEE FOOTBALL
Marquee players Ray Allen and Peyton Manning couldn’t quite win it all, but both schools’ big name coaches finally came through with a title in 1999.

GEORGETOWN BBALL = PENN ST. FOOTBALL
Two programs that were huge from the early ‘80s through the mid ‘90s. But now that we’re past the heyday of John Thompson and Joe Paterno, both schools have struggled to reach their past heights.

STANFORD BBALL = VIRGINIA TECH FOOTBALL
Both schools were far off the national landscape until the mid ‘90s. But thanks to underrated coaches (Monty and Frank Beamer) and previously unsung stars (Arthur Lee and Michael Vick) both programs vaulted into the national spotlight with runs to the Final Four and Sugar Bowl, respectively. And despite having higher profile rivals in their conference, both of these schools have remained top-flight programs over the past few years, consistently surpassing expectations.

 
The Great College Match-Up, Part 1

As we chug along through the spring and summer, I recently began to realize just how much I miss college sports. I began to ponder my love for college football and basketball, and thought about the similarities in the two sports. Specifically, the fact that each powerhouse program in basketball has a corresponding twin in football. When I started writing them down I wound up with quite a long list, as almost every school has a mirror-image in the opposite sport. So I decided to make this the blog's first "research project" and I'm breaking it up into two (possibly more) installments.

UCLA BBALL = NOTRE DAME FOOTBALL
Each school has won the most national titles in their respective sport. Each live under the shadow of their past glories, be it Alcindor, Walton and Wooden or the Four Horsemen. And over the past decade neither school has been able to live up to the lofty expectations of its alumni.

DUKE BBALL = MIAMI FOOTBALL
Each school has been the most successful program over the past 20 years. They get the best recruits and send a ton of players to the pros. And because of all this, they are hated from coast to coast.

KANSAS BBALL = MICHIGAN FOOTBALL
These programs have been top-tier for over a century, as each school has the most wins in their respective sport. However, both schools have underachieved when it comes to winning titles. Kansas has over 2500 wins but only 2 titles. The Wolverines were dominant early on but have only one title in the last 50 years. Doesn't it always seem like these schools usually start the season ranked about 15, rise a little bit mid way, but then wind up at 15 again?

ARIZONA BBALL = FLORIDA ST. FOOTBALL
Legendary coaches have had these programs at the top of their sport for ages. FSU ended up in the Top 5 for the entire 1990s while Arizona seems to make the Final Four once every three years. And each school's players do really well in the pros.

KENTUCKY BBALL = OKLAHOMA FOOTBALL
Insanely rabid fans have kept these programs at the top by sheer public pressure. Despite the fact that both schools are weighed down by their history, these schools have both been near the top in recent years...

NORTH CAROLINA BBALL = NEBRASKA FOOTBALL
...while on the other hand, these illustrious programs took a major hit in 2002. While both schools had unbelivable runs (UNC's streak of 20-win seasons, UN's streak of winning seasons) they now face rebuilding. The legacies of Dean Smith and Tom Osborne still loom large.

More to come...

 
The Art of Subscription Sabotage

As a few of you may already know, I recently decided to abandon the LA wasteland and move back to the Bay Area. For the last week I've been doing all the requisite paperwork, i.e. making a whole lot of address changes. After calling some of my magazines, it dawned on me how disturbingly easy it is for anybody to screw somebody over using magazines. Let's say you rummage through your enemy's recycling bin and obtain a copy of Sports Illustrated. All you'd have to do is call up the magazine, read off the subscription number printed on the label and change the address to your own. They don't ask for your social security number or anything. Or, if you're just feeling spiteful, you could pose as your enemy and ask them to start up a subscription to any of the other Time Warner magazines like People or Time. Your nemesis gets flooded with new bills while you laugh with glee. Then there's those little subscription cards. Just take a few from some obscure porn magazines, fill them out, check "Bill Me Later" and your rival will be flooded with X-rated junk mail. Not to give anyone any bad ideas or anything...

 
Quick Hits on the MTV Movie Awards

I know I shouldn't get worked up over a ceremony as trivial as the MTV Movie Awards, but I couldn't help but have these observations on the show:

* I'm awfully impressed at how quickly and thoroghly Justin Timberlake has learned ebonics over the past 18 months.
* I hate how movie stars do the whole "let's plug our upcoming movie by making fun of movie-plugging" bit. It's not clever and it's still shameless.
* Watching 50 Cent's labored, uninspired performance reminds me of why I'm almost always disappointed when I go to rap concerts. I'm not a huge fan of live music in general, but rap in particular is a genre best heard on record. It's just impossible for live performers to rap as coherently, quickly or audibly as they do in a studio.
* Speaking of 50's performance, I laughed out loud when his backup dancers started firing the fake guns. And I'm surprised MTV actually allowed that.
* I can't for the life of me understand why MTV is bringing back "The Tom Green Show." I have never met anyone who thinks he's funny.
* I love that Mariah Carey is still catching shit for doing Glitter.
* I wish they would get rid of those little intro vignettes they have before they list the nominees. Every year they get more random, more time-consuming and more annoying.
* Vince Vaughn is underrated as a comedian.
* There really should be an age limit for people who appear on this show. Watching Harrison Ford, George Lucas and Queen Latifah up there is embarrising for all of us.
* On the other hand, it appears that Demi Moore has caught the reverse-aging gene made famous by Janet Jackson. (Or maybe she has a really good plastic surgeon).
* How come MTV never explains how the winners are determined? It's the same thing with the Video Music Awards-- notice how the winners never thank anyone specifically. Are the winners just picked by a roomful of network execs?

 
NBA Crapshoot

Well, I was wrong about the Spurs-Lakers series. I was wrong about the Kings-Mavs series. But minutes before the NBA Finals start, I shall offer a prediction in a vain attempt at prognostication glory.

Much has been made about the superstar match-up of Kidd and Duncan. Kidd does it with passing, Duncan with scoring. While both players are capable of taking over a game, the difference is that when Kidd dominates the floor, that means the Nets have several scoring options and don't run plays through one guy. And the Nets have a bunch of big men (including the recently defrosted Dikembe Mutumbo) who can foul the bejesus out of Duncan and expose his weak free throw shooting. One plus for the Spurs is that they have a great bench of guys capable of putting up a big game. But the problem is that neither Bowen, nor Jackson nor Ginobili nor Kerr can do it from one game to the next. I also think that Richard Jefferson and Kenyon Martin (who's become one of my favorite players) will provide the spark needed to out-hustle the Spurs. So to sum it up, a 10 game winning streak, anger from last year's sweep and greater competetive fire will combine to give the Nets just enough to beat the Spurs in 7.

 
Sammy, how could you?

How disappointing it is to hear that Sammy Sosa was found to have a corked bat earlier today. Sosa is one of the game's most lovable players and to have something like this happen just makes me a little less idealistic. Now you have to wonder how many times he's used a corked bat in the past. It's one thing for sports figures to screw up off field or say stupid things to the media but when cheating on the field is the worst thing an athlete can do. I'd hate to see this incident taint Sosa's career, but how could it not?

 
Keep Baseball Integrated!

I'm sick of hearing all of these baseball purists trashing interleague play. Everyone complains that the match-ups are lame and that interleague play has lost its luster. "Nobody wants to see the Red Sox play the Pirates!" critics argue. What, you would rather see the Sox play the Devil Rays again? Of course interleague play can't provide a great match-up for every team. But is it any worse than a typical ho-hum intra-league game? As a fan, I'd much rather watch the A's play the Phillies than the Blue Jays, just for the pure novelty of it. The baseball season is extremely long and I say anything that spices things up is more than welcome. Besides, interleague play only happens twice a year so intraleague rivalries like Giants-Dodgers and Yankees-Red Sox aren't diminished at all and in the end, the best team will still end up winning the World Series.

 
The Frustration of Home Entertainment

My trip to Hollywood Video yesterday really made me regret that I cancelled my Netflix subscription two months ago. At the time, I thought "Well I've seen every old movie I can think of and I don't rent new releases all that often, so why keep paying $19.95 a month? Besides, when I do want to see another movie I can just go to the video store." Such a moment arrived yesterday and I went in with a list of several movies that I was thinking about renting, with 25th Hour, Comedian and Glengarry Glen Ross at the top of the list. I was baffled to find that the store had none of the above- they were either all checked out or not even carried at the store. It dawned on me that video stores may have finally reached their breaking point. Since there have been about 150 movies released every year for half a century and there's a finite amount of space in video stores, it's understandable that selection will continue to get worse and worse. Right now it's hard enough to find old movies; soon we'll reach the point where Hollywood and Blockbuster will only carry the biggest hits and new releases. That's why online services like Netflix (which presumably has huge warehouses filled with stacks of DVDs) are not only more convieniet but will soon be absolutely necessary to get a decent video selection.