VMA Musings

*Hey Madonna, I wonder why you didn't kiss Missy Elliott too?

*Christina Aguilera somehow got shafted by the Madonna Kiss Incident. Not only did MTV cut away from most of Christina's kiss (to show the Justin Timberlake's hilariously petrified reaction) , but today the press completely focused on the Madonna-Britney lip-lock.

*One thing that always annoys me about music-related awards shows is the way that categories are arranged. You have the video of the year category, and then all the sub categories, like Best Video From a Film. Now, if "Lose Yourself" is nominated for video of the year, doesn't it go without saying that it must also be the best video from a film? I mean, the suspense is killed for all of these little sub-categories. I suppose there's no way around it, but this system eliminates all surpise.

*Nice to see LeBron's debut as a corporate pitchman is for the highly regarded Juice Batteries. What, did Bic Cigarette Lighters lowball him?

*Duran Duran's acceptance of their lifetime achievement award had to have been the least enthusiastic tribute ever. You know it's a bad sign when Kelly Osbourne has to implore a lukewarm audience to stand up for your ovation.

*Justin Timberlake really had something going with his Increase-My-Street-Cred-By-Bringing-My-Hip-Hop-Producers-To-The-Podium-With-Me strategy.

*Why oh why did MTV force Coldplay to trim down the length of their "The Scientist" performance? Would anyone really have objected to hearing the extra 50 seconds that were cut out?

*I counted 6 shameless album plugs by the show's winners and presenters. Impressive, but not enough to top Macy Gray's billboard/dress from 2001.

*This year's winner of the Robert DeNiro Memorial Award for the most out-of-place VMA celebrity goes to Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore, who were there only to plug their upcoming move Duplex. It was shocking how old and awkward they looked. It's hard to believe that just five short years ago, Stiller (who's literally graying) was hosting this show.

*Was I the only one who thought that Linkin Park's Chester Bennington was a little too excited after winning his award? The way he kept triumphantly pumping his arms in the air, you'd think he'd just out-vaulted Kerri Strug or something.

*In perhaps the shocking return to glory since the Ali rope-a-doped George Foreman, that random black guy somehow crashed yet another awards show podium. Against all odds, Nicholas ''Sixx'' King, this guy managed to get to the podium, interrupting Adam Sandler and Snoop Dogg as they presented the Video of the Year award. After getting onstage at the 2001 VMAs and at this year's Grammys, we may have the next Frank "Catch Me If You Can" Abagnale on our hands.