LIST-O-RAMA: The Most Anticipated Movies of the Past Decade

With Revenge of the Sith coming out on Thursday, there's been an extra hop in my step this week. Not that I'm a Star Wars geek or anything, but I can't help but get caught up in some good 'ol fashioned summer movie buzz. There's always a good deal of hype surrounding a Star Wars release, and even though the first two prequels were disappointments there's still considerable Revenge of the Sith hype due to the bevy of positive reviews being generated. It got me thinking: which movies in recent history have generated the most fan excitement leading up to the opening weekend? Keep in mind that many movies that turned out lousy had tons of buzz beforehand, and not all blockbusters generated lines around the block when they debuted (Titanic only made $29 million its opening weekend). Herewith:

1. The Phantom Menace (1999)

Fans of the original Star Wars trilogy had been waiting 16 years for a new installment, and the 1997 re-release of episodes IV-VI whetted appetites for a new generation. In the weeks beforehand, conventional wisdom said that The Phantom Menace box office would undoubtedly set the record for biggest the opening weekend, possibly even crossing the $100 million mark. I remember reading a story quoting some moviegoers saying that they would avoid the theaters on opening weekend because the cineplexes were sure to be sold out for days on end. This mentality was likely the cause of the more down-to-earth $65 million opening weekend that resulted. However, it was the lukewarm reviews from disappointed audiences and critics that killed the buzz and started a mini-backlash against the Star Wars empire.

2. The Matrix Reloaded (2003)

In terms of sheer hype, this one takes the cake. Audiences adored the first Matrix and the promise of not one, but two imminent sequels had fans foaming at the mouth. The massive scope of the production actually caused Reloaded to be pushed back a full year from its original 2002 target date, giving the media extra time to pump up the masses with "Matrix Secrets Revealed!!" articles. But alas, with stratospheric expectations, a letdown was inevitable. But hey, at least Reloaded looked Oscar-worthy compared with Revolutions, the abysmal final installment.

3. The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997)

Another highly successful blockbuster, another sequel with hyped-up fans. The only notable aspect of this stinker (easily Spielberg's worst film) was the $90 million opening weekend, which set a record that would last a good five years.

4. Independence Day (1996)

This is the movie that really ushered in the era of the July 4 event movie. "iD4" was marketed to the hilt, as everything, including the the title and setting of the film, was geared towards the Fourth of July. The hype machine famously began with a Super Bowl ad featuring the White House being blown to smithereens. The good news was that Independence Day was actually one of the few movies on this list that turned out to be as enjoyable as the hype promised.

5. Goldeneye (1995)

People forget how much excitement there was for Pierce Brosnan's first Bond movie. After two forgettable Timothy Dalton bombs in the late '80s, the entertainment world was dying for a return to the era when James Bond was the coolest man in moviedom. Bond is one of the few franchises thats' truly driven by its international (rather than U.S.) following and Pierce Brosnan was the popular choice to step into the role. Goldeneye ended up saving the multibillion dollar Bond franchise, which will produce its 21st edition (Casino Royale) next year.


Rounding out the list:

6. Spider-Man (2002)
7. The Fellowship of the Ring (2001)
8. Attack of the Clones (2002)
9. Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (2001)
10. Men in Black (1997)

 
There's No Mistaking the Pied Piper of R&B

Lately I've been somewhat disinterested in R&B, as I've found the genre to be completely stagnant. You've got divas-in-training like Ashanti and Fantasia, while on the men's side we have to deal with amateur fluff from people like Frankie J, Omarion and Mario. I was convinced that R&B wasn't worth paying attention to anymore.

R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" has changed everything.

The same man who carried the genre in the '90s (and yes, the same man who has avoided jail for three years despite having been videotaped urinating on a naked 14 year-old) is staking a claim to regain the throne. "Trapped in the Closet" can only be described as an explosive, preposterous and utterly original R&B opera. R. Kelly has created a sweeping, five-part song with no chorus that is completely lyrics-driven. The twist-filled song takes place the morning after a tryst with a married woman. As R. Kelly is about to flee the woman's bedroom, her husband begins walking up the stairs, forcing our hero to hide in the bedroom closet clutching his Barretta. That's merely the beginning of a riveting (yet ridiculous) story filled with surprises, cliffhangers and genuine suspense for the listener. So far only parts 1 and 2 have been released to radio, and the full album, TP3: Reloaded, comes out in July.

I hate to provide spoilers for those who haven't heard parts 1 and 2, but I have a few predictions for the rest of the story: 1) R. Kelly will lose control of his gun, 2) at some point there will be some type of police stand-off and 3) R. Kelly will get a second call on his cell phone (from the same person who called while he was in the closet) that will prove pivotal. Stay tuned.

 
The World's Pastime

I was very excited to hear the news today that the long-discussed World Cup of Baseball will actually be taking place next year. The games will take place over three weeks in March, meaning that the season won't be interrupted and players will be in shape enough to participate. Instead of being governed by a third party (as is the case with the Olympics and USA Basketball) the "World Baseball Classic" is a product of MLB and the Players Association. I applaud both parties for getting together on this, because it decreases the chance of players saying "I don't feel like playing" and owners saying "I don't want my stars getting injured." Who would have thought the owners and players could collaborate on anything these days?

As for the games, the matchups are extremely enticing. The Dominican Republic, the United States and Venezuela would be the three favorites, and given the single-elimination format of the semifinal and final, any team could win (this actually strikes me as an unjust format for baseball, as I would have preferred a Best-of-3 for the final two rounds). ESPN took a stab at predicting the lineups for the top teams, and I have to say that the Dominicans are a murderer's row. The best chance for the U.S. would be to milk its pitching staff, with Clemens, Johnson, Schmidt and Hudson at its disposal. As for the U.S. position players, I would make a few alterations to David Schoenfield's list. I'd take Jeter out of the starting lineup as his production has dropped over the past few years. Instead, I'd start A-Rod at shortstop (he's been struggling as a third baseman as a Yankee) and put Scott Rolen at third. Finally, I think we can do better than Mark Loretta at 2B. The torrid Brian Roberts is the clear choice as the starter, and I'd put Marcus Giles or Michael Young on the roster as a backup infielder.

 
Stumble for the Roses

I have had a long-standing ambivalence to horse racing, but Saturday's Run for the Roses confirmed it: the Kentucky Derby is the nation's most overrated sporting event.

First, this is a sport where the atheletes are not human. I could see how the horse population might be riveted by the Derby, but I would much rather pay attention to the athletic exploits of my own species. Secondly, how big could an event be in which nobody is familiar with any of the participants even a week beforehand? During the week of the Derby, the sports media decides it must do its duty to educate the public about the race. Storylines are manufactured, trainers are spotlighted, and horses with fanciful names are hyped. It's never a good sign when spectators only care because they have been told why they should care 48 hours beforehand.

Thirdly, the stakes of the Kentucky Derby are actually quite low. The Derby winner is only important because if that same horse wins the Preakness, then there is a big tease leading up to the Belmont (for the triple crown "threat" that will inevitably fizzle). For triple crown purposes, it makes no difference which of the twenty horses wins the Derby. Fourthly, the televised event itself has more filler than an American Idol finale. God only knows why NBC began broadcasting the Derby at 2:00, when the race actually started around 3:15. The race was over by 3:18.

Finally, the Derby is overrated because nobody, not even horse racing experts, can make an intelligent guess about the winner. As the old Jerry Seinfeld bit goes, it's hard to evaluate competitors who aren't even aware that they're compteting. The fact that a 50-1 longshot won the Derby is evidence of what folly it is to pay attention every May.

 
The Misguided Path of the Righteous Man

For the last several years, Samuel L. Jackson's career has been somewhat a running joke. A man who started out as an ice-cool badass has devolved into hired gun who can't turn down a paycheck. Films like Jungle Fever and Pulp Fiction introduced us to an arresting talent who had the potential for a long, brilliant career. But in the late '90s, things started taking an ominous turn. First, we wrote off mindliess fluff like The Great White Hype and Sphere. Then we scratched our heads at Deep Blue Sea and The 51st State. Later, we groaned in pity at XXX and Basic. It was now clear that Jackson was a Hollywood mercenary, accepting any part no matter how small the part or how terrible the premise.

Pacific Air 121 will sink the situation to a new level.

Jackson has signed on to this movie, in which he plays an FBI agent transporting a dangerous criminal on a trans-Pacific flight. Only the plane has a crate filled with poisonous snakes. Oh, and Benjamin McKenzie from The O.C. will be playing the pilot. I wish I were making this up. Does Jackson even have an agent? I really feel the need to storm the production and start screaming "Stop! No, you can't do this!!" as I run around ripping down the set.

Jackson recently tried to defend Pacific Air 121, saying "I like scary movies! The scariest thing you could think of is a crate load of poisonous snakes getting released into the atmosphere on a plane." This tells you everything you need to know about a man who needs to be saved from himself.