There's No Mistaking the Pied Piper of R&B

Lately I've been somewhat disinterested in R&B, as I've found the genre to be completely stagnant. You've got divas-in-training like Ashanti and Fantasia, while on the men's side we have to deal with amateur fluff from people like Frankie J, Omarion and Mario. I was convinced that R&B wasn't worth paying attention to anymore.

R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet" has changed everything.

The same man who carried the genre in the '90s (and yes, the same man who has avoided jail for three years despite having been videotaped urinating on a naked 14 year-old) is staking a claim to regain the throne. "Trapped in the Closet" can only be described as an explosive, preposterous and utterly original R&B opera. R. Kelly has created a sweeping, five-part song with no chorus that is completely lyrics-driven. The twist-filled song takes place the morning after a tryst with a married woman. As R. Kelly is about to flee the woman's bedroom, her husband begins walking up the stairs, forcing our hero to hide in the bedroom closet clutching his Barretta. That's merely the beginning of a riveting (yet ridiculous) story filled with surprises, cliffhangers and genuine suspense for the listener. So far only parts 1 and 2 have been released to radio, and the full album, TP3: Reloaded, comes out in July.

I hate to provide spoilers for those who haven't heard parts 1 and 2, but I have a few predictions for the rest of the story: 1) R. Kelly will lose control of his gun, 2) at some point there will be some type of police stand-off and 3) R. Kelly will get a second call on his cell phone (from the same person who called while he was in the closet) that will prove pivotal. Stay tuned.