Rough Draft

I feel cheated. Usually the NBA Draft is one of my guiltiest sports pleasures, with it's breathlessly hyped prospects, ridiculous fashions and air of universal optimism. Every fan has the gift of hope after the draft: This kid was a stud in college/the AAU circuit/the French league- he could really be a sleeper for us! But this year, I just didn't have enough time to get excited about the draft. Given that it took place a mere five days after the Finals ended, I was somewhat blindsided and didn't have nearly enough time to get psyched up, scour every mock draft and make predictions. To top things off, I didn't even get home until after the last lottery pick was made. Sigh. I did have a few observations on the coverage that I did catch:

* My favorite quote from last night was from Gerald Green. He was telling Stuart Scott why his contract includes clauses about obtaining a degree while he's in the NBA. "Education man, that's my main thing." Really? Your main thing? Is that why you decided to forsake college and hire an agent?

* My best-dressed award goes to Julius Hodge, who channeled LeBron last night. I'm a sucker for those white-on-white ensembles.

* Am I the only one confused about the Suns-Knicks trade? This is an awful move for Phoenix- it makes no sense to give up the league's most prolific three-point shooter plus Nate Robinson, a guy who's perfect for your system. And in return they get Kurt Thomas, an undersized center who's never even sniffed an All-Star game. The league's unwavering fascination with getting "size" at the expense of talent is absurd.

* I hate it when draft picks are graded without looking at the overall market. For example, I heard a lot of people praise Houston for picking Luther Head with the 24th pick. Head is a good player who may turn out to be one of the 24 best players of this draft. But the fact remains that the Rockets could have gotten him much lower than that spot. I didn't see a single mock draft with him in the first round. Good drafting is about getting the maximum value for your pick. Why not just trade down ten spots and get the guy you want plus a 2007 second round pick?

* When the Bobcats drafted Raymond Felton, the analysts praised the pick because the consensus was that they really needed a point guard. But there's the little-known fact that their '04-'05 point guard, Brevin Knight, was second in the league in assists last year. The guy led the NBA in assist-to-turnover ratio. No love for the Stanford grad?

* The Sports Guy touched on this in his annual diary, but the "wingspan" epidemic is out of control. According to Jay Bilas, Cincinnati's Jason Maxiell is 6' 5" with a 7' 4" wingspan. I guess the only downside must be that his knuckles are bloody from being dragged on the ground.

* Pat Forde's scathing article on undrafted early-entries is quite eye-opening, if harsh. The SEC was particularly hard-hit, with undrafted guys like Randolph Morris, Matt Walsh and Kennedy Winston. This is an example why the movement to ban high schoolers from the draft is mis-guided. No matter how high you set the limit, there will always be misinformed players who enter the draft too soon and wind up getting burned.

* As for my Warriors, I am quite pleased with their draft. The Ike Diogu pick reminded me of when the 49ers drafted Alex Smith-- not the guy I wanted, but I can convince myself to jump onboard. I would have preferred Hakim Warrick or Danny Granger, but Diogu is nothing to sneeze at. I've watched him torch the Pac 10 the last three years and he clearly has a nose for the basket. More impressively, he's a free throw machine-- he made more free throws than any other Pac 10 player attempted last season. I'm fine with the Monta Ellis pick- he's low-risk and low-expectation choice. I was thrilled with the Chris Taft pick- big body, very athletic and an excellent value at #43. He's got tons of (dare I say it?)... upside!

 
Seduce and Destroy, Revisited

It's safe to say that we're all somewhat bewildered by Tom Cruise's recent antics during his marathon War of the Worlds junket. Nobody has ever had a more eventful, controversial and downright bizzare promotional campaign for a film. Let's ignore for a moment the Katie Holmes seduction, the red carpet water-squirting incident and the out-of-left-field Brooke Shields diss. What would posess a respected, charming, wildly popular superstar to suddenly proclaim himself a pharmeceutical expert and start offering psychiatric advice during interviews? This morning, while watching a clip of his trainwreck Today show interview, it hit me: Tom Cruise has morphed into his Frank "T.J." Mackey character from Magnolia.

In the best performance of his career, Cruise played a pompous, evangelical infomercial host who hawked the "Seduce and Destroy" technique for attracting women. There's scene about half an hour into the movie, in which Mackey sits down for an interview with a female TV reporter. In the interview, Mackey is over the top, intentionally controversial and even jumps on his chair for shock value. The similarities to Cruise's real-life Oprah interview are eerie. The only difference now is that War of the Worlds is the infomercial he's promoting and Scientology is "Seduce and Destroy." It's only a matter of time before he snaps into Collateral mode and goes on a killing spree.

 
Unpacking the Brain

I'm back from a two-week vacation in Europe and musings have been piling up in my head. Here are a few random thoughts on pop culture, sports and other stuff:

* As Vincent Vega said in Pulp Fiction, the best thing about Europe is the little differences. For instance: waiters don't hassle you while you're eating; tabloid newspapers include profanity and nudity; men wear capri pants and man-purses; womens' lower-lip piercings are off-center (instead of directly above the chin); tip is usually included in restaurant bills; and best of all they use coins for small denomination. The Sacagawea dollar never took off here, but what about a $2 coin?

* I really like the Audioslave song "Be Yourself" but the bad grammar in the chorus nags at me. "To be yourself is all that you can do" just doesn't sound right. Why didn't Chris Cornell just write it as "Just be yourself/It's all that you can do"?

* It's funny how NBA commentators all talk about how the Pistons "turn it on and turn it off" it terms of intensity for certain games. That's the exact same criticism that dogged the Lakers last year before Detroit whupped them in the Finals. Maybe winning a title just makes every team rest on their laurels, no matter how gritty and diligent they are at heart.

* Speaking of the Finals, the most frustrating aspect of the Spurs-Pistons series is that the games have been blowouts. These are the two best defensive clubs in the league and they're pretty even from a matchup standpoint. It's just a shame that neither team can summon any sort of adrenaline on the road. So it begs the question: would David Stern prefer a seven-game series featuring seven blowouts or a four-game sweep with four buzzer-beaters? I'd take the latter- you've gotta reward fans who sit down and watch these telecasts.

* Yesterday The Sports Guy had cool game in his mailbag: which celebrity flameouts match athlete flameouts? I liked all of his choices but I'm surprised that he so quickly dismissed Mike Tyson and Jason Giambi as having any comparable celebs. Tyson and Michael Jackson are kindred spirits (used to be best in the biz, hit with sordid accusations, now an embarrasing circus act). Giambi's decline mirrors that of Whitney Houston. Or if you want to look at it from an "exposed-as-a-fraud" angle, Milli Vanilli would be an obvious choice. This calls for a letter to Simmons.

* The failure of Cinderella Man at the box office thus far, is one of the more baffling movie phenomena I've ever seen. I haven't seen it yet but the critics have been raving, the film's star is on the A+ list, and there's Oscar talent at every orifice of the film. The only explanation is the release date- a December opening probably would have helped.

* HBO's Entourage is back for a second season and I can't remember being more torn about a series. Despite initially liking the show, as the first season went on I became more and more annoyed with the obnoxiousness of the four leads. The characters are vapid and unsympathetic, the acting is generally wooden, and the show's writers are way too esoteric. You can just picture the writers high-fiving each other going "Dude, what if we had Ali Larter show up in a string bikini in this scene! Sweeeet!!" That said, I can't stop watching Entourage. First of all Jeremy Piven has created one of the great TV characters of our era playing the hilariously cocky agent Ari Gold. And secondly, there's an unavoidable urge to live vicariously through these guys living in a fantasy world.

* Having just returned from Paris, I cannot understand why crepes aren't wildly popular here in the States. Crepes are the perfect post-meal snack- fresh, hot, sweet and best of all, cheap. If I opened up a chain of crepe joints (with clean stores, peppy employees and a huge menu), it could be the next Jamba Juice.