The Oscar Week Breakdown: Part VIII of VIII

THE WRAP-UP

Why yes, I did happen to catch the Academy Awards last night- how'd you guess? Here are my random thoughts on the ceremony:

* Chris Rock was a good as we could have hoped for. He added excitement, he never got flustered and most importantly, he told edgy jokes that were also very funny. I'm really glad that he stuck to stand-up (what he does best) and didn't go for any cheesy song-and-dances or try to pull off any moments of sappiness or even earnestness. I've heard some comments today that Rock was tame, but there was no way he was gonna rip into the superstars sitting in the front row.

* That Magic Johnson Theaters sketch... so funny, yet so sad for my black people. Was that lady serious about Alien vs. Predator being her favorite movie of the year? But then again, if you went to a theater in a low-income area of Nebraska, you'd get the same answers.

* The producers' efforts to speed up the show were awkward, even though they were effective. I didn't mind the scenario where the nominees are all on stage, but I disagree with the practice of delivering the awards to nominees in their seats. If you win an Oscar, you deserve the opportunity to give your speech on stage. You shouldn't have to stand in the middle of the crowd with half the audience craning their next to try to see you.

* If they want to save time for next year, I have a simple suggestion: eliminate the Best Song performances. That category has gotten so watered down over the years that nobody even recognizes any of the songs. I guarantee that nobody would miss those 20 cumulative minutes of the ceremony.

* Who knew that rappers would be the only ones to live up to my request for bowties on the red carpet? Jigga and Diddy, keepin' it formal for the streets.

* Were my father and I the only ones who noticed that there was a sleeping audience member during the ceremony? During one of the crowd reaction shots, there was a bald black man- who looked very much like Louis Gossett, Jr.- asleep in the background. I've looked and I've looked but nobody has picked up on this story.

* Today on Pardon the Interruption, Tony Kornheiser and Michael Wilbon alerted us to a huge scandal-to-be from last night: John Travolta's mysteriously potent hair. Last Thursday, Travolta had short-cropped hair while appearing on Letterman. Then just three nights later, he shows up at the Oscars with a significantly longer, slicked-back coif. Finally, Travolta has been exposed as the wig-wearing con artist that he is.

* It sounds weird to say it, but I feel so gratified about Jamie Foxx's win last night. Maybe it's because I've been following his career since In Living Color and his stand up specials. (Speaking of which, isn't it about time we recognize that stand-ups have the ability to become no just serviceable, but great dramatic actors? Tom Hanks, Robin Williams, Jim Carrey and now Foxx have all proved it.) In his film roles, we could see Foxx progress through great performances from Any Given Sunday to Ali to Collateral- is it any wonder that he would knock it out of the park in Ray?

* That said, let's hope Jamie's Oscar glow lasts for a while. Stealth, his next movie, looks god-awful based on this trailer.

* When Dustin Hoffman slurred his way through his Best Picture presentation I actually thought to myself "I don't remember hearing that Dustin Hoffman had a stroke." But then I realized, "oh wait, he's just bombed out of his mind." Was it really that hard to stay sober until the after-party?

* Overall, I'm pretty happy with my slate of predictions from this past week. All the favorites won in the acting categories and I should have known better than to try for the upset pick with Virginia Madsen. As for Scorsese, I wish I had listened to myself: Hollywood has NO sympathy for serial losers.

* As for my Best Picture prediction from a year ago, I was close but no cigar on The Aviator. But last February, Million Dollar Baby wasn't even in pre-production yet so how was I to know? As for Oscar 2006, Cinderella Man is the film to beat. You've got Oscar winners in Ron Howard, Crowe and Zellweger so the pedigree is all there. But then again, it could turn out to be another Cold Mountain.