FAVES OF 2003: The Songs

After a long holiday layoff, it's time to get back on the blog beat. And what better way to do so than with a series of Best of 2003 lists. I'll kick things off with my favorite songs of the year. To keep things simple, I'm only including songs from albums released in 2003 (which is why "The Scientist" isn't on here). The finest 15:

15. Jack Johnson- The Horizon Has Been Defeated
14. Linkin Park- Faint
13. 50 Cent f/Snoop & G-Unit- P.I.M.P. Remix
12. The Darkness- I Believe In a Thing Called Love
11. Outkast- Unhappy
10. Nas- Made You Look
9. Eminem, 50 Cent & The Notorious B.I.G.- The Realest Niggas (Remix)
8. Jay-Z- La La La
7. Radiohead- Sit Down.Stand Up
6. Joe Budden- Pump It Up

5. Liz Phair- Why Can't I
I dunno- why can't I keep myself from singing along to this song's soaring chorus?

4. Ludacris- Stand Up!
The best bassline of the year. Luda does the best job of making mainstream rap songs without sounding like he's watered down.

3. 50 Cent- Heat
This gleefully malicious track is the best song on 50's album, and it's a shame that it's too violent for radio. Just when you think Dr. Dre has started to repeat himself as a producer, he comes up with the idea to use the sound of a gun cocking as the beat for an entire song. And it actually works!

2. Outkast- Hey Ya!
By far the most original song of the last decade. What's so fascinating about this song is that it's appeal is so broad (it's on every radio station, regardless of genre) yet it sounds so different from every other song there is. The only thing keeping "Hey Ya!" from the top of this list is that it gets a tad repetetive by the end of the song.

1. The Roots- The Seed 2.0
Every time I hear this song it feels as good as it did the first time. "The Seed 2.0" is a perfect blend of rock, hip-hop and R&B. You want to dance to it. You want to sing along to it. You want all songs to make you feel this great.

 
The Best, No Questions Asked

There's something that's really been irritating me during this whole A-Rod-to-the-Red Sox saga. Nearly every columnist, pundit and talk show host has been referring to Alex Rodriguez as "the game's best player." While there's no doubt that he's beeen steallar the last few years, there's a little something preventing him from being baseball's best. That something is Barry Bonds. This is a man who's won three consecutive MVP awards and literally changes the way the game is played when he's in the lineup. The home run record, the batting title, the NL pennant, the countless walk-off homeruns... and Barry's reward is to be instantly ignored whenever the name of Rodriguez is brought up.

This is similar to what happened in the NBA from about 1998 up until last spring. Shaq was always called the "most dominant" player, or the "most overpowering" player, but never "the best." That honor usually went to Kobe or Tracy McGrady (and now deserves to go to Tim Duncan), when everyone should have gotten their heads out of the sand and appreciated Shaq for what he is: a great basketball player. It's time people stop looking at guys like Bonds and Shaq as freaks of nature, and start realizing that not every young player deserves to be mentioned in the same breath with them.

 
Digesting a Season Completed, Part II

Given my miserable prognostication track-record on this blog, I must take a moment to give myself some faint praise. My college football preseason predictions turned out to be pretty on-point. I correctly guessed five out of the eight BCS slots and if Georgia had prevailed yesterday I would have been batting a cool .750. All right, so my grand prediction of a national title for Texas was a bit off. But how was I supposed to know that Chance Mock would be on the verge of transferring after getting supplanted at QB by a freshman? Oh well-- they're called bold predictions for a reason.

But the biggest reason I'm patting myself on the back today is because I correctly predicted that there would be no undefeated teams at the end of the regular season. The parity which has swept through college basketball is now reaching football too, as the nation's talent is spreading across the country. Combined with the longer schedule this season (most teams had a 12th game and thus an extra chance to lose this year) and tougher non-conference games, the nation's powerhouses could not sustain perfection for a full season. Look for this trend to continue in the future--one day, we may even see a two-loss team in the national title game.

 
Digesting a Season Completed, Part I

For the first time since it's inception, the BCS has the problem of having three teams with identical records atop the polls. In the past, I've defended the BCS on the principle that it was much, much better than the bowl system preceding it (if this were 1997, Oklahoma would be playing in the Orange Bowl, USC in the Rose, and LSU in the Sugar). But now we have legitmate travesty: a team that's #1 in both polls will not get to play in the national title game. I think the BCS is well-intentioned, but should only be used as a tiebreaker. The BCS should only be implemented when the top two teams in the AP and Coaches polls don't match. If I were a USC fan I'd be outraged, but I do take solace in realizing that there are a few factors that prevent this from being a complete sham:

1. USC didn't win all its games. It would be different if this were a situation like the one 12-0 Penn St. faced in 1994, when they had to watch 13-0 Nebraska win both national titles. But the old rule would have been true this year: if USC had gone undefeated, they wouldn't have had to rely on polls and computers.

2. The Trojans may not even deserve their number 1 rankings. One of the things I hate about the way polls are conducted is that an early-season loss is forgivable while a late loss isn't. People always claim that momentum should be important, but what would have happened if USC had had their Cal game scheduled yesterday instead of in October? For all we know, Oklahoma and LSU may in fact be the two best teams in college football.

3. The Trojans can still win the AP national title. The writers poll has always been the one that I've recognized as the true rankings. The coaches poll isn't as objective as the AP, since coaches are biased towards teams on their schedule and in their conference.

4. We're back to a traditional Rose Bowl matchup. The Big 10 champ facing the Pac 10 champ on New Year's Day: just as it should always be.

5. All of this will be forgotten if and when the Wolverines win. Let's not forget that in the end, Southern Cal will have to beat a pretty damn good Michigan team in order for any of this to be relevant. Go Blue!

 
How to Embarass the Prez

1. Go to www.google.com
2. Type in "miserable failure"
3. Hit the "I'm Feeling Lucky" button
4. Laugh

Amazingly, this is not the result of any kind of hacking into the search engine or into the White House website. It's merely the result of clever bloggers who are taking advantage of Google's search algorithms to make a political statement. If you would like to participate in the Miserable Failure Project, just create as many miserable failure links as you can and spread them throughout your blog or web site. Enjoy!

 
It's Chow Time on the Farm

When Buddy Teevens was hired to replace Tyrone Willingham in 2001, I was optimistic. Here's a guy who worked under Steve Spurrier and had great success in constructing prolific offenses. His first game as Stanford's coach last season was a rout of San Jose State, and I thought "No Tyrone, no problem. We haven't missed a beat."

The two consecutive Big Game losses were shameful enough. But yesterday's debacle against Notre Dame made it clear just how far Stanford football has fallen in the last 15 months. The coach should have been more than able to get the team motivated for the ABC cameras last night, given that it was Senior Night, you're up against your former coach and the team you're facing is the most hallowed program in college football. Given those circumstances, a 50 point loss sends a perfectly clear message: Buddy Teevens has completely lost his team. I know that athletic director Ted Leland has repeated that he will give Teevens three full seasons. I know that Stanford didn't have great talent or experience this season. But to give up the worst home loss in school history tells me that this team has no future with Teevens. Can anyone say with a straight face that the program is better off now than it was after that SJSU game last year? Does anyone honestly think that Teevens can magically dig us out of the canyon he's created from a squad that went 9-3 in 2001?

Stanford needs to suck it up and cut its losses. We can't endure another year of quarterback controversies (next year it's just gonna be Edwards, Matter and Ostrander playing musical chairs), impotent offensive schemes (we averaged just 283 yards per game this year) and blowout losses (we were outscored by 138 points this season). So let's be proactive and hire USC's offensive coordinator Norm Chow as our coach. Chow's offense has been one of the best in the nation for the past few years and he obviously knows how to succeed against Pac 10 defenses. Chow is the hottest commodity on the coaching market, and Stanford would be foolish to let him get hired by someone else. Pass the collection plate to buy out Buddy's contract!

 
The Grandest Sport of All

That's right, folks: college basketball has returned from a painfully long offseason, so it's time for my season preview. Before I get to my predictions, I will (as expected) offer up some random thoughts:

* This column would have come sooner had I felt that the Coaches vs. Cancer Classic were a worthy season-opener. The Memphis-Wake Forest/Marquette-St. John's doubleheader two weeks ago was a less-than-tittilating slate compared to the preseason tournaments of years past, which always featured top 10 teams. To me, the season starts in earnest this Tuesday when Michigan St. takes on Kansas.

* I love how everyone looks at Syracuse and says "Oh, losing Carmelo Anthony won't be that big of a deal. Let's rank them in the top ten." There's absolutely no way that Gerry McNamara and Hakim Warrick will simply fill the void of the #3 pick in the NBA draft. The 'Cuse won't be any higher than a 7 seed in the tournament.

* Every year there are a few players who make me think "What? That guy still hasn't graduated?" This year's winner of the Jason Kapono Award for over-staying one's college welcome goes to Chris Duhon. Doesn't it seem like he started at Duke about six years ago? Honorable mentions go to Jameer Nelson of St. Joe's, Gerald Fitch of Kentucky, Arthur Johnson of Mizzou and Amit Tamir of Cal.

* I look at Maryland's roster and I don't see a single name I recognize. It's unbelievable to think that this is the same school that won the title just 19 months ago.

* I just love the fact that Patrick Ewing's son is playing college basketball. So many questions: will he too sweat like a monsoon? Will he be a frequent customer at the Bloomington area strip clubs? Will he be the ultimate anti-hero that the media loves to hate? Watching him at Indiana will be pure entertainment.

* It's ridiculous to see so many college basketball writers making Final Four picks in the preseason. How in the world are you supposed to predict which teams will end up in which region? As if making final four picks after the brackets are released wasn't hard enough.

* As for which new coaches, will have the most immediate impact, you just have to look at the caliber of their players. I think Roy Williams will have the most success as his trio of sophomores will continue to be outstanding. Bill Self will won't have an easy job at Kansas, because I just don't see Langford and Simien compensating for the loss of Hinrich and Collison. As for Ben Howland, he'll soon realize that Steve Lavin was unsuccessful because he couldn't recruit any smart players.

* The best conference race will be in the ACC. Does UNC have enough firepower to hang with Duke, which will be much-improved with the addition of Luol Deng (and the subtraction of Casey Sanders)? The teams split their regular season games last year and this year's editions will surely remind us again why this is the best rivalry in all of sports. Should the Devils or Heels falter, N.C. State (masters of the Princeton offense) and defending conference champion Wake Forest will challenge for the ACC crown.

* UConn's future one-and-done freshman Charlie Villanueva is a lot like LeBron James in one respect: he looks like he's about 28 years old.

* I absolutely love Stanford's team this year. There's much more intensity, heart and hustle in these players than there were in The Borchardt Era. Curtis really epitomized those years for Stanford basketball: robotic efficiency, consistent success, but a lack of killer instinct and a penchant for inopportune injuries. This year's players are diving on the floor for loose balls, hollering at the crowd after alley-oops and their pre-game huddle bristles like a 13-man riot. If the newly-chisled Rob Little, the tenacious Justin Davis and the frenetic shot-blocker Matt Haryasz (my new favorite player) can stay out of foul trouble, our frontcourt will be outstanding. Matt Lottich and Chris Hernandez are both intense guys who are solid at their positions. The only question: how good does Josh Childress want to be? J-Chill has the talent to be the best player in the conference (and lead us to the Pac 10 crown) but so far hasn't shown the cockiness needed to become The Man. Our future is in his hands.

Mr. Predicto

CONFERENCE WINNERS
ACC: Duke
Big 12: Missouri
Big East: UConn
Big 10: Indiana (sleeper pick alert!)
SEC: Florida
Pac 10: Arizona
Conf. USA: Louisville

FINAL REGULAR SEASON AP POLL
1. Florida
2. Duke
3. Missouri
4. North Carolina
5. UConn
6. Kentucky
7. Gonzaga
8. Arizona
9. Kansas
10. Notre Dame
11. Stanford
12. Indiana
13. NC State
14. Michigan State
15. Louisville

FISRT TEAM ALL-AMERICA
C Emeka Okafor, UConn
F Ike Diogu, Arizona St. (Naismith Award Winner)
F Julius Hodge, NC State
G J.J. Redick, Duke
G Raymond Felton, UNC

2ND TEAM ALL-AMERICA
C Arthur Johnson, Missouri
F Ronny Turiaf, Gonzaga
F David Lee, Florida
G Rashad McCants, UNC
G Bracey Wright, Indiana

NATIONAL CHAMPS
I made this prediction way back in April and I'm sticking with the Gators. In a season with few dominant teams, Florida has the closest thing to a complete package. They've got a nice backcourt with super soph tandem Anthony Roberson and Matt Walsh. Their terrific frontcourt combines Christian Drejer (who will merit the hype that he was supposed to live up to last season) with David Lee, who'll be SEC player of the year. Their crafty coach (maybe too crafty if you ask Monty) Billy Donovan is one of the best in the game, with one Final Four appearance already under his belt despite his youth. This time, he'll take home the trophy.

 
'Roid Rage

Most of the recent criticisms of baseball's laughable steroid testing policy have been on point. But while most are focusing on the prevalence of steroids (5-7% of players tested positive last year), it's the absurdly lenient penalties that have me up in arms. From the SF Chronicle: "Players who test positive for the first time will enter a treatment program. After that, they'll be suspended or fined -- 15 days or $10,000 for the second offense, 25 days or $25,000 for the third offense, 50 days or $50,000 for the fourth offense and one year or $100,000 for the fifth offense."

So let's say you're Anaheim slugger Troy Glaus and it's the start of the 2004 season. You think to yourself "I'm in the last year of my contract and I had a lousy season last year. I really need to put up some huge numbers and my team isn't gonna be a contender. Hey, I might as well start using 'roids. The worst case scenario: I happen to be randomly selected five times in one year and I test positive five times. Instead of taking the suspension, I'll just pay the $100,000 fine, which is less than two percent of my $9 million dollar salary."

And that's in the worst case scenario. I mean, what's to stop anyone from juicing up? Some may worry about soiling their reputation, but two months after his corked bat incident, everyone treated Sammy Sosa like nothing happened. I fear that this new testing program will do more harm than good.

 
The Bootleggers Ain't The Problem

Yesterday's release of two major rap albums, Jay-Z's The Black Album and G-Unit's Beg for Mercy, illustrates the irrationality of the music industry. At a time when the industry is desperate for hit records, it makes no sense for Def Jam and Interscope (which are both owned by Universal Music Group) to put out both albums on the same day. Given that these are the two biggest rap releases of the fall and target the same audience, why divide your potential first-week market? Granted, if you were a fan of both acts you would buy each record, but there's no arguing that sales would have been better had they been released in separate weeks.

Then there's the fact that both of these albums had their releases pushed up because they had been leaked to bootleggers and file-sharers. This has become a standard practice now in rap, as every artist now grandly announces then hastily shifts up their street dates so as to avoid being victimized by music pirates. But by making these switches so abruptly and releasing records on unorthodox days (as opposed to the standard Tuesday) you just end up confusing retailers, the press and your audience- not to mention the fact that you waste all the marketing dollars you spent trumpeting what is now an inaccurate launch date. Why not just save everyone the trouble and just plan for the inevitable leak ahead of time? This lack of common sense is what's submarining the music industry while other entertainment mediums (movies, video games, cable TV) withstand the country's economic downturn.

 
Cineplex Complex

After an unusually intense week of filmgoing, I have managed to see all three movies that came out last week. Here are some spoiler-free observations on the week that was.

As has already been well-documented, The Matrix Revolutions stunk up the theater. To me it felt as if 10 minutes into the movie, the Wachowski brothers were clubbed unconscious, locked in a closet and the rest of the film was directed by some over-zealous Terminator fan. That dreadful 25-minute sentinel vs. human battle sequence (which didn't feature a single character I cared about) made me feel like I was watching Rise of the Machines. Plus, the movie didn't answer any of the franchise's philisophical questions- a complete cop-out for fans of the first two films. Walking out of the theater, I thought that the movie had to have been a hoax. I'm still waiting for the Wachowski brothers to be released so that they can make the real ending to the Matrix trilogy.

Elf was another movie that I was really rooting for, but ended up as a disappointment. I've been a huge Will Ferrell fan since his first Saturday Night Live sketch back in '95 ("Get off the goddamn shed!") and I'd even go so far as to declare him to be the best performer in SNL history. No one else could do impressions, goofy characters, physical comedy and play the straight man, which Ferrell did masterfully. And he carried the show during his last five seasons, appearing in seemingly every 90% of the sketches. So while I'm thrilled that he's finally been getting recognized as a star, I was rather miffed that his first starring vehicle turned out to be a rather sappy, witless kids movie. There were a handful of laughs scattered throughout the movie and I'm sure a wide audience will find it unobjectionable, but I felt Ferrell was too trapped in this role. He has such a broad array of comedic talents that it's a crime to confine him to a rather one-dimensional role in such a soft film. I'm very much looking forward to next July's Anchorman, where I think his full potential will be realized.

Easily the best movie I saw last week was Love Actually. The commercials make it seem like a cheery, heart-warming holiday chick flick- which, on some levels, it is. But I liked how much deeper the movie went in terms of tone and character. Several of the nine intertwining stories are ones of heartbreak and pain, and I'm glad that writer-director Richard Curtis didn't feel the need to give every character a happy ending. At the same time, all the characters were so likeable (especially the gorgeous Keira Knightley) that you still leave the theater with a big smile on your face. This movie really illustrates why the British do comedy so much better than we do. If this were an American movie, it would be a limp, predictable PG-13 piece of schlock, instead of the edgy, witty, adult, surprisingly politically conscious film that Love Actually was.

 
Shed

I had to shake my head at the news that Fox had canceled it's new series Skin after just three episodes. It was easily the best-reviewed drama on the network and was heavily promoted during the summer and throughout this fall's baseball playoffs. I watched the pilot, and while I wasn't blown away, I was at least pleasantly surprised by the depth of the characters (particularly the scheming parents). Yet this is just another example of a long pattern of programming impatience by Fox. Every time the network gets a new, offbeat show that gets great reviews, it's prematurely yanked. Shows like Action, Family Guy, Andy Richter Controls the Universe and Undeclared (one of the five funniest shows I've ever seen) were all original, creative shows fallen prey to Fox execs who give these shows competetive time slots because they don't have a "mass appeal." Skin (which was up against Monday Night Football and Everybody Loves Raymond) was basically set up to fail, so you wonder why the network even bothered in the first place. I just hope that creative producers learn their lesson and just go to cable, where they'll at least stand a fighting chance.

 
What Have You Done For Me Lately?

The most recent college football coaches poll was released today and it highlights the most vexing aspects of the polling system. Unlike in college basketball, each week's football polls are absolutely integral for determining the national champion. My first question: why is Florida State ranked five spots ahead of Miami? They have identical records and the Canes throttled the Seminoles in Tallahassee. Meanwhile, Miami's only loss was on the road to a team now ranked 5th- how does this translate into an 8 ranking while FSU is #3?

The answer, unfortunately, is that when coaches and writers are polled each Sunday, they put too much weight on what happened the day before instead of looking at the season as a whole. This practice is unfair because teams are at the mercy of the schedule-makers. Even teams that lose twice early (like #8 Michigan) are rewarded over teams that face a tough opponent late in the season (like #22 Oklahoma State). Pollsters need to stop punishing teams for losing by automatically dropping them a set number of spots in the polls.

 
No Comb will save Combs

I've always liked Sean Combs. In the "Puffy" era of the late-90s he was one of my favorite hip-hop producers. Then in the "Puff Daddy" phase, I still found him charismatic, even though his rap skills were mediocre at best. Even at his lowest moment, when his gun trial coincided with J. Lo dumping him, I never joined the chorus of P. Diddy-mocking. I've even taken some measure of satisfaction in his recent Making the Band-fueled resurgence. But all this good will might be going out the window after seeing this new picture of his atrocious new haircut. I don't know if he's trying to set a trend or if he lost a bet, but an afro mohawk is just unforgivable.

 
Hoops Springs Eternal

With the NBA season tipping off tonight, I thought I'd offer an assortment of random thoughts on the season ahead:

* LeBron this, Carmelo that. I'm as interested to see those guys as everyone else, but I think Dwyane Wade will win rookie of the year. He, not Carmelo, was the best college player last year and his 6'5'' body is NBA-ready. Plus he has two factors in his favor: 1) He plays in East and 2) He's not expected to be the star right off the bat. Caron Butler will carry burden of being the team's focal point, allowing Wade's scoring talents to flourish over the course of the season.

* Speaking of Dwyane Wade, can his parents and and Antawn Jamison's parents please hold a joint press conference? Were they just trying to be different or was there a birth certificate typo?

* Whenever I think about Keith Van Horn being on the Knicks, the first words that come to my head are invariably "unmitigated" and "disaster".

* Just when you thought you've had your last Horace Grant sighting... there he is, back with the Lakers. He, Julio Franco, Stan Javier, Sean Landeta and Morten Andersen should have their own reality show: Nonretirement Home.

* With Antoine Walker and his 25 erratic shots per game going to Dallas, the door is open for Paul Pierce to absolutely blow up this season. The Truth will be the MVP of every fantasy basketball league in the nation.

* Great to hear that Al Michaels will be the lead announcer on ABC's NBA telecasts this season. But why did they take Tom Tolbert off of the lead color commentary team? He had more fresh things to say than the typical recently-fired-coach-turned-analyst.

* Brad Miller is the most overrated player in the league. A seven year $68 million dollar contract for playing one good season in a weak Eastern Conference? The guy only made the All-Star team last year by default- there are only a handful of 7-footers in the conference. Anyone who thinks the Kings improved with this acquisition is kidding themselves.

* Of the new uniforms debuting this season, the Nuggets' slick duds definitely take the cake. Evoking the powder blue of the San Diego Chargers' classic threads is a great move in my book.

PLAYOFF CRYSTAL BALL

* In the East, I think we'll see a few surprise teams that will be much better than they were last year. Orlando will make a strong playoff run now tha McGrady has some frontcourt help in Juwan Howard. The Heat have a lot of young talent that will flourish now that Pat Riley's iron fist is no longer holding the team back. But in the conference finals Larry Brown and Darko Milicic will give Detroit the juice they need to muscle past the Nets in the conference finals.

* Out of the West's "big five", Sacramento is the one headed for a fall. The Kings are never healthy- it's always some kind of nagging ailment or freak injury keeping them from being at full strength. Their team is getting old and their bench got thinner in the offseason, so I'd be shocked if they made the conference finals.

* The Mavs are no better or worse than last year. Even though they're adding Walker and Jamison, that offense get any more efficient than it already was. Danny Fortson can rebound, but not well enough to neutralize the superb big men in the West.

* All the preseason focus so far has been on the Lakers and Mavs, but the new-look team I'm most interested in seeing is the Timberwolves. Kevin Garnett was already on the verge of an MVP season, and in the playoffs, Troy Hudson proved that he could ball. Adding Olowokandi, Sprewell and The Hideous One means Minnesota suddenly becomes multi-dimensional. After serving as the Oakland A's of the NBA the past five years, I'm predicting that the T-Wolves will finally get out of the first round.

*The Lakers have star power, but I just don't think that team can come together for a title run in one season, especially with Kobe's trial scheduled to take place in May. This isn't like football or baseball, where a patchwork of new players can get you an instant title. NBA teams take years to mesh together.

*That leaves the Spurs, who were clearly better than the Lakers and Mavs in the playoffs last season and improved in the offseason. Plus in basketball more than in any other sport, the team with the best player wins the crown. And Tim Duncan still wears black and silver.

 
Grady Gamble

I can only shake my head at the news that Red Sox sacked manager Grady Little was this morning. Yes, we all know that he made a bad decision to leave in Pedro Martinez during Game 7 of the ALCS. But to fire a good manager for one mistake is a rash and foolhardy move by the Boston front office. The organization (and the entire angry city of Boston) is essentially punishing Little for blowing the Sox's pennant hopes. But here's the problem: by castigating Little with a pink slip, the team will suffer. Little did a great job of getting the Sox to play as a team, placating Manny Ramirez and squeezing 95 wins out of an average pitching rotation. Do the Sox honestly think that there's someone out there who can win 96?

This is exactly what happened with the 49ers. The front office said "Steve Mariucci can't get us far enough. Let's get rid of him!" Problem was, they didn't have any replacement lined up. After months of sifting through mediocre candidates, they settled on retread Dennis Erickson. Every Niner fan, journalist and casual observer knew that Erickson would never be as good as, let alone surpass, Mariucci. Why do sports franchises just assume that getting rid of the current, imperfect guy will automatically make things better?

 
Fall Classic Forgetfulness

There are two baseball-related snubs that have been bothering me lately:

1) With all the hoopla around the agony of the Red Sox and Cubs franchises, I have not heard one mention of the Chicago White Sox. Boston fans act like their they're the neglected stepchild of the baseball world, since they haven't won a title since 1918. But the White Sox haven't won since 1917, and you never hear their fans complain. Sure, Boston fans have had to endure some tough losses, but White Sox fans had to endure their team's betrayal in the Black Sox scandal. Meanwhile, the media has been acting as if the entire city of Chicago got together for a Cubs love-in during the playoffs. This ignores the fact that the city has two long-suffering franchises. Wouldn't that aspect have made a better story?

2) The Arizona Diamondbacks' 2001 title has been completely forgotten. You hear about how the Marlins are a lucky bunch of undeserving tykes who don't deserve another title since they're still a young franchise. Well, the last time the Marlins won a title, the D 'Backs didn't even exist. When Arizona won in their fourth year of existence, little fuss was made about the youth of their franchise. And then there's the forgotten fact that it was Mariano "The Invincible" Rivera who blew the save that won the Diamondbacks title. Yet this week, all we've heard is that once Rivera takes the mound, the Yankees are unbeatable. Funny how people have such short, selective memories.

 
Alcorn State's Finest

Has anyone else noticed that Steve McNair is the Tim Duncan of the NFL? He's tough, versatile and often dominant, yet his low-key personality keeps him from superstardom. When you look at McNair over the last five years, you realize you're looking at the game's best player. And it's no coincidence that in this era of NFL parity, the Titans have been the most consistently successful team over the past half-decade. Maybe it's because McNair has single-handedly blown up my fantasy team over the past few weeks, but I'm officially adopting him as my favorite NFL player. Terrell Owens, you might win your spot back if you stop dropping every other ball thrown to you: it's your contract year- play like it.

 
Munching the Pickle

Most imitators of The Onion are weak failures that can't capture the sharp wit and subtle brutality of the original. I recently learned about a site called Sports Pickle that skewers sports news items. I've been checking it out every now and then for the past few months, and there have been mixed results on the comedy front. But this week, they've posted a true gem of an article:

AWKWARD SILENCE ENGULFS LAKERS SHOWER AFTER KOBE DROPS SOAP
An extremely awkward silence engulfed the Los Angeles Lakers locker room shower yesterday afternoon after practice when Kobe Bryant dropped his soap.

“We were all laughing and joking, talking about what we were going to do that evening and then Kobe dropped his soap and the whole shower went completely quiet,” said Shaquille O’Neal. “He was bent over, floundering around trying to pick it up and I think every one of us was thinking what might happen to him a year from now if he does that.”

 
You Knew It Was Coming...

...but you still just can't believe it.

In the bottom of the 8th in tonight's Sox-Yankees game, Nick Johnson flied out to start the inning. With Boston up by three runs, I thought to myself "OK the Red Sox have a chance to win this game, as long as he doesn't say it. Don't say it. Don't say it." And then Joe Buck said it: "The Red Sox are five defensive outs away..." Right then I knew that the Sox had absolutely no chance.

Fox announcer Thom Brennaman cast the exact same jinx on the Cubs two nights ago. After the Marlins made the first out of the 8th, he made the "five outs away" comment, which of course cemented the Chicago collapse. Don't these guys know that you cannot make the "x outs away" remark until the 9th inning? I wish people would come to their senses and realize that it's jinxes, not curses that dominate important sports games. The concept of a long-standing curse is too broad; it affects franchises and seasons. But jinxes are much more individualized and specific; they affect teams and games. Jinxes can happen in an instant, out of nowhere- a much more reasonable explanation for the dramatic turns-of-event that take place in a high-stakes playoff game.

 
Lost Cause

Leave it to the Red Sox to pull a choke job in their biggest game of the year. Despite having home field, despite being able to pitch Lowe, their Fenway specialist, despite going up against a gimpy, 64 year-old David Wells, Boston failed to Cowboy Up. You just can't go 0-for-5 with runners in scoring position with two games at Yankee Stadium looming.

Ordinarily I wouldn't get so worked up about a game that didn't involve my Giants, but this is the type of series that frustrates even the most neutral onlooker. The Red Sox have never had a better chance of beating their rivals, what with their loaded lineup and superstar ace, Pedro Martinez. But in your heart of hearts you know that the Sox will find a way to lose. The batting champ, Billl Mueller, is hitting .125, while Mia Hamm's future wife is without a postseason RBI. I mean, why should I even bother watching games 6 and/or 7, when I know I'm just going to be disgusted by yet another Yankee pennant?

 
Thank God For Televised Sports

What a ridiculously happy day Saturday will be for sports fans. First, we've got Clemens at Pedro at a rabid Fenway Park. Sure I'm getting sucked into the East Coast media's fantasy tale, but it's a very compelling matchup nonetheless. In the nightcap, we'll see if the Cubbies have enough to steal a game from the Dontrelle and the Marlins, who are giving off that Unlikely Team of Destiny vibe (see: Angels, 2002). And of course, there's the droolingly good slate of college football games. I plan on being at a sports bar for the majority of the proceedings, and my tentative viewing schedule for the day looks something like this:

9:00: Miami- Florida St.
12:30: Oklahoma-Texas.
12:30: Florida-LSU.
1:18: Red Sox-Yankees.
4:45: Tennesse-Georgia.
5:00: Cubs-Marlins.
6:00: Ohio St.-Wisconsin.
7:00: Stanford-USC.
11:00: I pass out after a 14-hour binge of sports, drink and merriment.

 
End of Days?

Well, the recall election results are finally in, and as expected, California will now be governed by a breast-groping body-builder who starred in Jingle All the Way. I don't think life in the state will change that much under Arnold's first term, as the state is in such a deep hole nobody can dig us out in three years. Besides, it's not like we have an independent ecomony- California's budget and unemployment woes will be cured when the rest of the nation's economy recovers. But there will be two major effects of this recall that I'm worried about:

1) The impact on next year's Presidential election. With California under Republican control, Bush will have a better chance of taking the state's electoral votes.

2) This recall sets a horrible precedent. The idea that an interest group can say "gee, last November's fair and legal election didn't turn out in our favor because we ran a lousy candidate. Let's have a do-over" is pretty dangerous. If people don't respect regular election results, everything becomes succeptable to second-guessing. I almost hope that Arnold does a bad job just so that people can learn a lesson.

 
Sunshine on a Cloudy Day

One minor salvation for my day is that I got to see the new trailer for Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. This movie has been near the top of my Personal Anticipation List for nearly a year, though there is still no release date. From the brilliant mind of screenwriter Charlie Kaufman, Eternal Sunshine is the story of a feuding couple who undergo a radical procedure which erases their memories of one another. Like Being John Malkovich, Human Nature and Adaptation, this Kaufman movie sounds like it will push the creative boundaries of movie storytelling. I can't wait- even though I'll have to for another six months at the very least. My guess is that they'll try for a spring time release. This will be a quirky, critic-driven film, so it would make sense to put it out in the dead season of March and April, before the onslaught of summer competition. The appearance of the teaser does serve as a promising sign that the movie won't be pushed back all the way to fall 2004, which is still an excruciating possibility.

 
Another Year, Another Painful Elimination

Last year, the Sports Guy wrote his classic column on the 13 Levels of Losing. I couldn't help but think of this as I watched the Giants endure an unbelievably painful loss this morning. Using Bill Simmons's metric, this game would qualify as a combination of The Rabbit's Foot, Dead Man Walking, The Guillotine and The Stomach Punch. This loss had it all. The pitcher Willis getting three hits. Felix Rodriguez loading the bases and giving up two runs all with two outs. And to cap it off, that play at the plate. In fourteen years of watching baseball, I had never seen a tag at the plate end a game, much less a playoff series. Seeing JT Snow slump to the ground just made my heart sink- especially knowing that that was probably Snow's last play in a Giants uniform. Boy, this is gonna be a hard one to swallow.

 
Tater Tally, Pt. 2

That 100 Home Run list was also great because it rekindled my memories of the #4 blast on the list, Joe Carter's walk-off blast that ended the 1993 World Series. The mental images of Carter's joyful leaps around the basepath got me to thinking: what are the greatest on-field celebrations in sports history? Here's my list:

Honorable Mention: Brandi Chastain, Carlton Fisk (points are subtracted because the arms-waving came before the home run cleared), New England Patriot Lonie Paxton's snow angel and Billy "White Shoes" Johnson.


5. Poor Craig Ehlo. Michel Jordan's leap-and-repeated-fist-pump routine has made Ehlo's name synonymous with fruitless attempt to defeat of greatness.

4. Indiana coach Mike Davis, his win over Duke with the same fervor with which he coaches on the sideline.

3. Carter, acting exactly like he did when he was a six year old imagining that very moment.

2. Hampton Coach Steve Merfeld, after his 15th seeded Pirates upset Iowa State in the 2001 NCAA tournament. Any time one of your players is holding you off the ground while you kick and flail with glee, you know you've done a good coaching job.

1. You want the definition of heart? Try Bobby Orr going horizontal after scoring the Stanley Cup-winning goal in 1970. Sure he was aided by a leg trip a nanosecond before this famous photo was snapped. But look at the joy on Orr's face, even though he knows he's about to take a face plant onto the ice. Classic.

 
Tater Tally

ESPN's Page 2 has compiled their list of the 100 greatest home runs of all time. Trivial sports lists are the types of things that Page 2 does best, and this one doesn't disappoint. I'm glad that they seemed to rank the bombs based on game significance, rather than just reputation. For example, the number 1 entry (the only Game 7 walk-off blast in World Series history) isn't as famous as McGwire's 62nd, so it's great that Bill Mazeroski is getting his due. To achieve such a tremendous feat with the stakes so high, you have to classify Maz's home run as one of the greatest--and most underrated--feat in sports history.

 
Tom Jackson, Steve Young and Michael Irvin Are All We Need, Thank You

Clearly, ESPN didn't think this whole Rush Limbaugh idea through when the network signed him for NFL Countdown. Though I thought it was a ridiculous idea at the time, I understood why they hired him to be a commentator: to create controversy and thus boost the show's ratings. So after I heard about his misinformed comments about how the media has been rooting for black coaches and quarterbacks, I wasn't all that shocked. I mean, you knew it was only a matter of time before something like this happened. What did surprise me was his abrupt resignation from the show after the firestorm surrounding his remarks. First of all, let's not kid ourselves, ESPN forced this resignation as was fearful of losing advertisers. But didn't the suits in Bristol expect and anticipate this kind of conflict-baiting? They got just what they asked for. I assumed that the network would have used the free publicity to their advantage and kept Limbaugh on for the rest of the season. ESPN does deserve kudos for making the right decision today, but you have to question their judgment in hiring him in the first place.

 
How Much Better Will It Get?

While following today's baseball action (I unfortunately had to make do with internet live scoreboards) I had my annual epiphany about how my baseball fandom varies so widely throughout the calendar year. During spring training, I'm obsessed with the upcoming season. After a long offseason, it's always exciting to rexamine the leagues and I absorb as much of the preseason predictions and analysis as possible. But after the novelty of opening day wears off, my passion for the sport becomes rather tepid. I look at the standings every few days and read a few weekly baseball columns, but I rarely if ever watch the actual games on TV. I guess it's just because the season is so long and each game is so relatively insignificant that as a fan, I'm strictly on cruise control. But come September's whispers of talk of magic numbers and home-field advantage, I get sucked back into the mix.

But then there's nothing like watching a playoff baseball game. During tonight's Cubs-Braves game, I magically saw the importance of every pitch, the subtleties of every managerial decision and I was absolutely mesmerized by the spectacle of it all. I know I'm only gonna sink in deeper as the playoffs continue which both scares and excites me tremendously.

As for today's games, could they have turned out any better? All three teams I rooted for were victorious and no one at work had a clue that I was a complete slacker all day. I think that things look especially bright for the Twins, who know that even if they lose on Thursday, all they need to do is hold fort at the Metrodome, which will be the loudest postseason venue they've visited since their Kingdome meltdown in '95. The Cubs also sit pretty, especially with stud-of-studs Mark Prior taking the mound at Wrigley on Saturday.

 
Ah, Sweet October

Since we are on the cusp of The Greatest Sports Month of the Year, I thought that this would be a perfect time to get off my lazy duff and start getting into a blogging groove. College football is getting into its conference season, the NFL season is starting to take real shape and we're about to begin the most intriguing baseball postseason in recent memory. With so many thoughts swirling in my head, I'm gonna have to break it down by sport.

Blitzes From All Angles

* Do you think Sports Illustrated's editors get a bonus every time one of the cover jinxes comes true? Because that's the only explanation for Oregon's appearance on last week's cover, which hit newsstands three days before their all-too-predictable loss to Wazoo yesterday. Even when they were 4-0, the Ducks had to be the least-deserving SI cover subject ever.

* When I sat down to watch yesterday's USC-Cal game, I thought to myself, "May the worst team lose." It's so uncomfortable to watch a game where you hate both teams so much. I obviously had to root against the Bears, but I wanted to break a bottle over my head when I caught myself humming along to the USC band's uber-obnoxious fight song.

* I notice Stanford has another bye this Saturday. You know, if we want to go to a bowl game, we might actually have schedule some opponents every now and then.

* Is there a greater sound in the world than that of Keith Jackson's voice on a Saturday afternoon?

* There are only 9 undefeated teams left in the AP Top 15, and we're still in September. My preseason prediction that no team will go undefeated is looking better and better. And even though my Sugar Bowl picks, Texas and Michigan, have both lost, both are still undefeated in conference play. Thanks to my friend the BCS, national title hopes still abound!

* Good Lord, when did the 49ers turn into Vanderbilt? The way the Vikings breezed down the field was shudder-inducing. Our porous secondary, combined with the fact that Jeff Garcia forgot how to throw a pass more than 15 yards, puts us on a collision course with 6-10.

* I wonder if a special teams player has ever won the NFL MVP award. Because after I just saw Kansas City's Dante Hall return another punt for a touchdown, you have to consider him a leading candidate at this point in the season.

* Brett Favre's recent struggles only expose what I've been thinking for some time now: he's only good when he's got the lead. Whenever the Packers get behind by 10 points or more, Favre starts playing like a rookie- forcing passes, throwing off his back foot and piling up interceptions. And this has been happening for years, not months.

* Like Det. John Shaft, The Sports Guy delivers ten times out of ten. Bill Simmons's latest ESPN column is another comedic gem, as he brings back his weekly NFL picks feature. The Sports Guy has become my joy, my inspiration, my shining star in a cloudy sports universe. I just can't believe I only discovered his column a year ago. I wasted far too much time this past summer going back and reading his archives. The NBA draft diaries are the "highest of high comedy."

* Why is it that you always hear football commentators talk about the defense being tired at the end of the game? Isn't the offense just as tired? They run everywhere the defense does, but you never hear an announcer say "The Bucs defense is giving the wide receivers some much needed rest right here." I don't get it.

* Should I be proud or ashamed about the fact that I look forward to ESPN's NFL Prime Time more than the actual games? Chris Berman and Tom Jackson do such a great job of adding great commentary to a bevy of highlights on every game that it's a must-see every Sunday afternoon.

* I've got the perfect role for Matt Damon: The Tom Brady Story. It's perfect- he's a spitting image for the guy, and he's from Boston to boot!

Sick With Baseball Fever

* I was very happy to hear the news that ESPN will be carrying the majority of the division series this year. The TV contracts of the past two years had games broadcast on ABC Family and Fox Family channel, leaving viewers completely flummoxed when trying to find the games.

* But the main reason I'm happy to see the games on ESPN is because that means that we once again get to hear Joe Morgan call the playoffs. Morgan is my hands-down favorite announcer in all of sports. Not only does he have that smooth vocal delivery, but his comments are always insightful and informative. Each time I hear a Jon Miller-Joe Morgan broadcast, I learn something new about the game.

* I've never had a full-time job during the baseball playoffs before, and following the games will be quite a challenge. Predictably, all of the Giants games are during the day, while some other games start as early as 10am. Luckily, my office is headphone-friendly, so it's internet radio to the rescue.

* With Fox carrying the LCS and World Series again, I'm bracing myself for the crass onslaught of promos for the network's upcoming fall TV lineup. Over/under on the weekly number of smug Joe Millionaire commercials: 30. Expected total length of time the behind-the-plate virtual billboard will be showing a 24 ad: 17 hours, 13 minutes. Estimated number of gratuitous T&A shots of Tru Calling star Eliza Dushku: Not enough.

* As for the actual games, let's start with the AL. It's a damn shame that Mark Mulder is injured, because this could have been The Year for Oakland. The pitching staff is still decent, but unfortunately their lineup won't be able to hold up their end of the bargain. The Red Sox have to be considered the most dangerous team out there, thanks to that ridiculously potent lineup. They will face the Yankees in what will be an absolutely epic ALCS. We're talking scalpers selling tickets for 20 times face value. New England alcohol sales spiking by 600%. Every journalist on the East Coast fainting from anticipation. But do they have what it takes to get over their nemesis? I can't believe I'm writing this, but the Sox are going back to the World Series.

* In the NL, it's hard for anyone to root against the Cubbies, even if you live in Atlanta. I mean, did you see how excited those Wrigley fans were when they clinched on Saturday? Meanwhile, the Braves win the division every year and Turner Field is half empty during the playoffs. You have to think there's gonna be quite a few Cubs caps in the Atlanta stands when the series starts on Tuesday. Though I'm extremely wary of jinxing San Francisco, you have to think that the G-Unit has what it takes to make it past the fishies. It'll be a rematch of the 1989 NLCS, and despite the abscence of Will the Thrill and Candy Maldonado, the results will be the same.

* As for my World Series pick- no, not even I am dumb enough to try to predict that.

 
Touched by a Crasher

Well, after a loooong hiatus, I'm back on the blog scene. And what a better time to do it than following a post from Random Black Guy himself! I am honored and surpised that he would even find my blog, let alone offer a compliment. I will definitely keep an eye out for when his DVD hits the marketplace. I'm actually quite surprised that Nicholas "Sixx" King hasn't gotten more pub since his VMA antics. But maybe this is for the best- the longer he stays under the radar, the better chance he has of future stage crashings. But he still has a ways to go to catch the ultimate event crasher, Dion Rich, who has somehow broken into 32 straight Super Bowls.

 
VMA Musings

*Hey Madonna, I wonder why you didn't kiss Missy Elliott too?

*Christina Aguilera somehow got shafted by the Madonna Kiss Incident. Not only did MTV cut away from most of Christina's kiss (to show the Justin Timberlake's hilariously petrified reaction) , but today the press completely focused on the Madonna-Britney lip-lock.

*One thing that always annoys me about music-related awards shows is the way that categories are arranged. You have the video of the year category, and then all the sub categories, like Best Video From a Film. Now, if "Lose Yourself" is nominated for video of the year, doesn't it go without saying that it must also be the best video from a film? I mean, the suspense is killed for all of these little sub-categories. I suppose there's no way around it, but this system eliminates all surpise.

*Nice to see LeBron's debut as a corporate pitchman is for the highly regarded Juice Batteries. What, did Bic Cigarette Lighters lowball him?

*Duran Duran's acceptance of their lifetime achievement award had to have been the least enthusiastic tribute ever. You know it's a bad sign when Kelly Osbourne has to implore a lukewarm audience to stand up for your ovation.

*Justin Timberlake really had something going with his Increase-My-Street-Cred-By-Bringing-My-Hip-Hop-Producers-To-The-Podium-With-Me strategy.

*Why oh why did MTV force Coldplay to trim down the length of their "The Scientist" performance? Would anyone really have objected to hearing the extra 50 seconds that were cut out?

*I counted 6 shameless album plugs by the show's winners and presenters. Impressive, but not enough to top Macy Gray's billboard/dress from 2001.

*This year's winner of the Robert DeNiro Memorial Award for the most out-of-place VMA celebrity goes to Ben Stiller and Drew Barrymore, who were there only to plug their upcoming move Duplex. It was shocking how old and awkward they looked. It's hard to believe that just five short years ago, Stiller (who's literally graying) was hosting this show.

*Was I the only one who thought that Linkin Park's Chester Bennington was a little too excited after winning his award? The way he kept triumphantly pumping his arms in the air, you'd think he'd just out-vaulted Kerri Strug or something.

*In perhaps the shocking return to glory since the Ali rope-a-doped George Foreman, that random black guy somehow crashed yet another awards show podium. Against all odds, Nicholas ''Sixx'' King, this guy managed to get to the podium, interrupting Adam Sandler and Snoop Dogg as they presented the Video of the Year award. After getting onstage at the 2001 VMAs and at this year's Grammys, we may have the next Frank "Catch Me If You Can" Abagnale on our hands.

 
A Crown of Burnt Orange

My long wait is finally over as the college football season is finally upon us. Even though I'm a bigger fan of college basketball and the NFL, I think that college football causes me more offseason longing than any other sport. Maybe it's because the season is the shortest in all of sports or because the regular season is so important, given that there's no playoff. But in any case, I'm glad we're back to that time where every Saturday is dominated by a full slate of high stakes match-ups.

Making predictions is always a huge crapshoot, but I can't resist the urge to play prognosticator. Here are my picks for the BCS:

ACC Champ: Florida State
Big East: Va. Tech
Big Ten: Michigan
Big 12: Texas
Pac 10: USC
SEC: Georgia
At large 1: Oklahoma
At large 2: Ohio State

I'm picking Texas over Michigan in the Sugar Bowl. The Wolverines will be led by the fact that their schedule is softer than most years- they have Ohio State and Notre Dame at home and their toughest road game will be at Oregon. Is this the year John Navarre really breaks through and beats the Buckeyes? I'm guessing yes.

As for national-champ-to-be Texas, I'm thinking that the Longhorns will follow the same path as the 1998 Tennessee Volunteers. They've just lost their star, NFL-pedigree QB (Peyton Manning/Chris Simms) who couldn't get over the hump of beating their rival (Florida/Oklahoma). But they still have a stud wideout (Peerless Price/Roy Williams) and star-in-the-making at running back (Travis Henry/Cedric Benson) and a talented D. Starting out without much hype, the team will sneak up slightly under the radar and hoist the title trophy at the end of the season.

Other College Football Thoughts

* I'm not too optimistic about Stanford's chances this season. I'm glad Chris Lewis was named the starter, but all indications are that Coach Teevens is gonna throw Trent Edwards or Kyle Matter into the lineup the second Lewis scews up. And that's gonna be bad for his confidence and for the team as a whole. And can we please get someone decent at running back? Our leading returner rushed for 346 last season. Can we get a juco transfer? Anyone?

* My dream is to take an autumn-long vacation and just tour college football venues. Imagine just going through the Midwest and South, going to a different tailgate every week before attending a rivalry game like Alabama-Auburn or Florida-FSU. Pure heaven.

* Is it just me, or are the nonconference matchups getting better and better each year? Just look at these awesome games we have to look forward to:

Aug. 30: Washington at Ohio St.
Aug 30: USC at Auburn
Sep. 6: Oklahoma at Alabama
Sep. 6: Florida at Miami
Sep. 13: NC State at Ohio St.
Nov. 8: Tennessee at Miami

And this is on top of the annual rivalries like USC-Notre Dame and Miami-FSU. We no longer have to wade through a month of nonconference mismathces to see some quality matchups.

* It's because of these tough nonconference matchups that I'm making a bold prediction: This will be the first year that no team goes undefeated. Every single team in the preseason Top 10 (execpt for Oklahoma) faces at least two very tough opponents. And as I said earlier, the Sooners will lose to Texas.

* I hate Heisman hype. Why does everyone care so much about who wins the award? No other sport has ridiculous campaigns for the MVP trophy. You didn't see "TJ Ford for the Wooden Award!" billboards and he turned out just fine.

* I do, however, love BCS hype. Sure, a playoff would be ideal, but I don't see why everyone loves to bash the BCS so much, especially considering the wee fact that it's way better than the system we had before! There are no more cumbersome split national titles, and everything is much more equitable. With strength-of-schedule as a component, teams are no longer rewarded for feasting on the McNeese St.'s of the world, as Nebraska did throughout the '90s. The two at large bids mean that virtually any program gets a shot (no more complaining, BYU). And what else would we debate about in November and December?

 
The New Jinx

Football fans everywhere were crushed by the news that Michael Vick broke his leg in last night's preseason game. Though he'll only miss about four regular season games, it still means we'll be without the game's most exciting player for at least a quarter of the season.

The more pressing issue arising from Vick's injury was that of the ominous curse that's sweeping the sports world: The EA Sports Madden Cover Jinx. The country's most popular video game, Madden NFL, has been putting players on the it's cover for the last four years, and each player has been subsequently hit with undue malady. The 2001 edition cover (which was released in August, 2000) featured Eddie George, who had just led the Titans to the Super Bowl. After appearing on Madden, he had a subpar, injury-plagued season. The 2002 coverboy, Daunte Caulpepper had just come off of a breakthrough season in which he and Randy Moss tore up the field. His 2001 season was a major setback, as his interceptions went up while the Vikings' win total went down. Last year's victim was, Marshall Faulk, fresh off an MVP season. After the EA curse, his team mysteriously lost their first five games and inexplicably missed the playoffs. And now, a mere three days after the 2004 edition's release, coverboy Michael Vick goes down with a horrific injury. A mere coincidence? Perhaps. But if I were a guy like Jeremy Shockey, when EA Sports comes calling a year from now, I'd run like hell.

 
Summer TV Roundup

Thus far I've been a little disappointed by the tube's offerings this summer. It just seems like in the past few years, there have been more reasons to look forward to primetime TV. But there are always a few diamonds in the televised rough, so I can't comlain too much. Here are some of my thoughts on summer TV:

* While I found "Big Brother" to be a nice guilty pleasure in its first three iterations, I just can't get into this season. This whole "Ex-Factor" has created more negativity than intrigue, and the entire cast is either boring or mean-spirited. The appeal of this show has just vanished for me.

* The best new summer show, by far, is "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy". All the hype directed at this funny, educational, and surpisingly suspenseful show is well-deserved. I'm a big believer in self-improvement and every episode leaves me a little bit inspired.

* There's been a lot of debate about whether "Queer Eye" is a harmful depiction of gay stereotypes- but critics are missing the point. I do think that two or three of the guys tend to fit the "flaming queen" role, but that's a very small aspect of the show. Homosexuality is rarely if ever discussed, and I think it's unfair to label "Queer Eye as the flagship show of gay America."

* I caught the under-hyped VH1 special "ODB on Parole" the other night and was quite pleased. Among the many nuggets of wisdom provided by the newly-named Dirt McGirt: "Yeah I got 13 kids. I pay all their child support. But there's 3... 3 or four of them that I really love." And by the way, how did the Osiris manage to gain 40 pounds while in jail? He looks like Shawn Kemp out there.

* I don't see what all the fuss over "The O.C." was about. Granted it was only one episode, but where was all the soap-opera twists and turns I've been reading about. And can they get the lead character to actually utter a few lines instead of his constant brooding?

* Every season of "The Real World," I go through the same process: Excitedly watch the first few episodes, enjoy the mini-dramas that occur early on, root for the cast members to hook up with each other, start growing irritated with more and more of the cast, eventually hate everyone in the house, stop watching by episode 12. Why do I always do this to myself?

* And speaking of "The Real World: Paris," why does that idiot Adam ALWAYS wear his Stanford gear? He's just dragging our good name down.

* If you aren't watching "Making the Band 2" you're seriously depriving yourself. Every week, a new disaster approaches, every week the band narrowly escapes. And you have to love a show featuring a grown man in a bow-tie; in this case it's P. Diddy's butler, Farnsworth Bentley adding some class to the proceedings.

 
A Cuban Lit Up

Mavericks owner Mark Cuban is taking way too much heat for stating that "from a business perspective, [the Kobe drama] great for the NBA. In the past few days Cuban has been attacked for being an idoit who's bent on self-promotion. But few people are willing to acknowledge the fact that Cuban is absolutely right. For at least the upcoming season, which Kobe will definitely play, the hoopla is certain to spark increased interest in the Lakers. Wherever they go, casual sports fans who don't normally follow the NBA will have an increased interest. There's no denying it.

Besides, how could the scandal really have a negative effect on the league? The NBA's popularity has already bottomed out. Only hardcore basketball fans watched the poorly-rated NBA finals, and they'll still watch in the future even if Kobe gets convicted. NBA fans have stuck it out over the years despite the unsavory antics of Allen Iverson, Ron Artest and the Portland Trailblazers, so why would Kobe turn them off? Let's face it: the league doesn't have many fans to lose. The negative publicity will only serve to attract new eyeballs.

 
The New (Old) Golden Boy

When did Pat O'Brien become the king of all media scoops? The Access Hollywood host/cheerleader has come out of nowhere to land three recent high-profile interviews. First he got the exclusive Affleck/Lopez interview, beating out the likes of Diane Sawyer, Katie Couric and the Exclusive Interview Queen Barbara Walters . I thought "Well, maybe J-Fleck wanted to reward Pat for all the months of fawing and promotion his show has provided for the couple." Then on Tuesday, O'Brien got the now-infamous Mark Cuban interview in which discussed the financial benefits of the Kobe ordeal. At that point I thought "Well, he probably just got lucky. There was no way he expected Cuban to drop that bombshell." But then to top of the interview coup, O'Brien was the first person to land an exclusive interview with Arnold Schwarzenegger immediately after his Tonight Show announcement. Now, I'm thinking "Well, maybe I've underestimated our old friend Pat."

Ever since he took over hosting Access Hollywood, I've felt a little sorry for Pat O'Brien. I mean, for most of the '90s he was a reputable fixture of CBS sports. Every time the Penzoil at the Half college basketball segments came on, there was O'Brien expertly moderating the proceedings. The guy used to be a real, respected journalist before CBS booted him. So I'm glad that he's emerged from the celebrity infotainment heap. With all these exclusive interviews and a recurring segment on the Today show, O'Brien's turning into everything Geraldo Rivera wishes he could be.

 
"A Hopelessly Misconceived Excercise" -NYT

Looks like I was on to someting a few months ago when I proclaimed Gigli to be the summer's least anticipated movie. First, there was a viciously funny story in The Onion on Wednesday. But yesterday we got the full, hilarious brunt of critical wrath against the movie. Writers around the country are having a field day as they contribute to the collective journalistic disembowelment of the film. Rottentomatoes.com, a terrific site that compiles movie reviews, has found that out of 94 reviews, only 5 critics liked Gigli. I think my favorite line comes from the Wall Street Journal's Joe Morgenstern, who notes the movie's "staggering idiocy, fatuousness and pretension."

 
The Entourage: More Than Just Homeys on the Payroll

Most of the discussion about the Kobe Bryant saga has focused the alleged victim's shaky character and Kobe's dubious future as a corporate pitchman. But SI's Mike Silver examines the story from an fresh perspective, asking the question: Who was protecting Kobe on that fateful night? Silver interviewed Dennis Rodman's former bodyguard, who puts the blame squarely on the shoulders of Kobe's security team, or lack thereof. Although we fans tend to dismiss entourage members as being diamond-encrusted leeches, a personal security team can be vital to a superstar in the spotlight. According to the article, they put out fires on a regular basis, particularly when they involve sex with unfamiliar women. We're used to seeing athletes get caught while engaging in criminal, sordid or embarrassing behavior, but think about how much more we'd see if it weren't for the 300 pound safety nets shielding them wherever they went.

 
Organized Spontaneity

Fellow blogger has Gary enlightened me to the latest movement sweeping the nation one city at a time: flash mobs. For some reason, I love this idea, in which hundreds of people gather at one random location at a pre-appointed time and just...gather. As one woman said, it's like an organized protest, but without all of the politics. There's something very Fight Club-ish about it and although it is somewhat pointless, I fully understand and appreciate the concept. I'm glad there are people out there who like doing random things. It reminds me of all the stupid stuff me and my friends did in high school (like walking into Hollywood Video and putting all the tapes into the wrong cases) just for the hell of it. It's nice to know that absurdity still has a place in adulthood. I'm going to do my best to find the next flash mob to hit San Francisco.

 
It's Not Exactly Writer's Block...

I'm going to get kind of esoteric here and write about one recent phenomenon that I find rather intriguing: the glaring paucity of posts that I've made since moving back to Palo Alto. Folks, even I'm puzzled by why my once-prolific output has tailed off recently. It's not that I'm too apathetic (I still enjoy writing when I do), too busy (I had a full-time job in LA too) or that there's nothing to write about (the world is as interesting as ever). So I guess it boils down to the fact that now, when I have an idea about something, I actually have real human beings around with whom to express myself, face-to-face (what a concept). I guess what I've learned is that I was really depending this blog as a major source of my social interaction, which is sad and fascinating at the same time. Well, in any case I still like blogging and I have no intentions of shutting down this blog, but from now on I guess I'll be less frequent. But I'll still keep making an effort to write if you still keep making an effort to read.

 
Kobe's fallout

When I first heard the news about Kobe Bryant's today, I was quite surprised that the prosecutors made the charge. Just the fact that a small town in Colorado feels that they have enough evidence to go toe-to-toe with a high-priced team of LA lawyers is quite remarkable- especially since rape charges are so difficult to prove. It will be very interesting to see how they intend to appoach what will be an uphill battle for the prosecution.

As for basketball, it's hard to say how this will affect the Lakers. First of all, the justice system moves at a snail's pace, so we might not see a trial till after next season. In any case, this cloud is going to hang over the team all season and the hecklers will be out in full force wherever they go on the road. So everyone who was ready to hand out title rings to Malone and Payton earlier this week can just hold off on that for a while. All in all, this will be one more storyline added to what's shaping up to be the most intriguing NBA season since MJ's first retirement a decade ago.

 
Ask and I Shall Receive

Well, I got my wish. Dontrelle is an all-star, and to top it off, he takes the place of Kevin Brown of the evil Dodgers?! Ha ha. Karma will surely smite me for reveling in another's misfortune, but it feels good now.

So I am now satisfied with the All-Star teams. Now all they need to do is let that sausage-clad battery victim throw out the first pitch in the game Tuesday.

 
The All-Star Controversy Continues

Rosters for next week's All Star game were announced, and of course there is a travesty to report. Dontrelle Willis, the game's hottest and most exciting pitcher was left off the National League roster by manager Dusty Baker. For all the meddling and the League office has done with this year's game, you wonder why they couldn't have done some puppet-mastering where it mattered, and created a fair voting system. Because the all-star selection system now incorporates input from players, managers and fans, MLB ought to reserve two roster spots that managers may use for obvious snubs like Willis. Instead of this we're stuck with Russ Ortiz and Armando Benitez. And it's not like Willis is all hype: he's 8-1 with a 2.13 ERA. And he's been in the majors less than two months.

The game hasn't had a pitching sensation like this since Hideo Nomo, and many fans, myself included, are dying to see this guy pitch live. Here's hoping an injury substitution will allow us to experience Dontrelle mania.

 
Legacy for Legacy's Sake

Is there a more overrated phenomenon in American culture than The Kennedys? I mean, sure John and Robert were powerful, inspirational leaders four decades ago. But the new book that's making waves, The Kennedy Curse, is just another example of how unnecessarily important the Kennedy name still is. Do we really need to know whether or not JFK Jr. and his wife were having marital problems when their lives ended four years ago? Just let them rest in peace, for goodness sakes (same goes for Jackie O). The media has gone out of its way to turn the Kennedys into an American royal family and it's sad that the public still doesn't know any better.

 
The NBA's Ethnicity Experiment

During and after last week's NBA draft, I was put off by the fuss many pundits were making about the influx of foreign draftees. "Geez, I can't pronounce these weird names," they complained. I understand that it's harder for fans (myself included) to get psyched up about guys they've never seen play, but there was clearly a xenophobic tone to it all. But SI's Phil Taylor raises a very interesting question: will the league benefit from the fact that most of these foreign players are white?

"If nothing else, the new international flavor of the league is setting up a fascinating sociological experiment: What is more important to the American sporting consumer -- race or culture? Clearly, some fans have been turned off by the urban, hip-hop, go-for-the-dunk-and-damn-the-fundamentals feel of the predominantly black NBA. Will those people like the league better if it's populated by more Caucasians whose names they can't pronounce? If Antoine Walker and Jermaine O'Neal don't suit your taste, will you really prefer Zarko Cabarkapa or Sofoklis Schortsanitis?"

I'm guessing that the overall popularity of the NBA in America won't depend on race or culture. The NBA will alway's be about individual stars. When the next transcendent icon emerges, whether it's LeBron or Darko, he'll resurrect the league single-handedly.

 
The Ultimate Anticlimax

When I heard the news today that Katherine Hepburn had died I had an all-too-familiar reaction: guilt. Guilt because I assumed that she was already dead. I had this same reaction with Gregory Peck's death two weeks ago and Dean Martin's passing a few years back. It's quite sad actually- we tend to ignore all of the lving screen legends of yesteryear because they're no longer young and hip. And when icons like Bob Hope, Kirk Douglas and Elizabeth Taylor (who are all still alive, by the way) are discussed it's only to speak glowingly about their storied pasts. In doing so we end up eulogizing them prematurely.

 
NBA Draft Thoughts

* While I'm glad the Warriors avoided the BAWGs, I'm not too thrilled about their pick of Mickael Pietrus- Reece Gaines would have been better. Tom Tolbert said it best: why pick up yet another swingman when we already have five of them? To me, this guy looks like a Jason Richardson clone, so I'm hoping that a trade is in the works. How about sending Pietrus and a bench player to Milwaukee for one of their point guards? Surely the Bucks don't need Payton, Cassell, Michael Redd and TJ Ford.

* Speaking of which, I was surprised at how many teams drafted guys at positions where they're already stocked. Not only did the Warriors and Bucks clog their rosters, but the Knicks got another undersized forward (Mike Sweetney) and Memphis got yet another point guard (Troy Bell). Why do teams draft guys who have little chance of getting significant minutes?

* Is it at all possible for Dick Vitale to say anything negative about anyone who played college basketball?

* A lot of people questioned the timing of Kobe Bryant's announcement yesterday that he'll pursue free agency next summer. But I think it's a great move for him. By spreading the word now, before the free agent season, NBA GMs can reserve some future salary cap space if they want to make a run at him in 2004. I'm guessing he'll end up in Memphis.

* As was the case at the NFL Draft, EA Sports came up large with their TV commercial. I can't put my finger on why, but I love the retro ad featuring Carmelo, Hinrich and Bosh as "The Rookies."

* It was a surprisingly uneventful year for NBA Draft Fashion. LeBron stole the show with his all-white ensemble, and the black-and-white shoes (a la Casey Jacobsen) were a nice touch. Worst-dressed has to go to Carmelo Anthony, who looked ridiculous having only one of six buttons fastened. The cornrows sticking out of the baby blue cap didn't do it for me either.

* I'm as excited about anyone about LeBron James, but the one aspect I dread is how every game will come with some new hype angle. When he plays the Lakers, it'll be "Lebron vs. Kobe!" Then, "LeBron takes on Carmelo!" "LeBron sizes up Yao!" "Lebron visits the house Jordan built!" I can already smell the Sportscenter anchors salivating.

* Normally I find ESPN's Jay Bilas to be smug and irritating in his college basketball analysis. But I thought he did a great job last night- very informative. He should become a permanent draft guru and be the NBA's answer to Mel Kiper Jr.

* Hey Jason Kapono, still glad you stayed those three extra years with Steve Lavin?

 
Making the Grade

We've been bombarded with a bunch of new reality TV shows lately, most of which were expunged to the summer season because they stink. The problem is that most reality shows now are romance elimination contests, but the best reality shows are behind-the-scenes documentaries. One great example of this is MTV's Making the Band 2. The second season follow's the six hip-hop dreamers as they struggle to come together as a group, record an album and become part of the Bad Boy family. But the real drama is the unending hazing being inflicted by P. Diddy, their patriarch/tyrant. After making them walk four hours across New York City for a slice of cheesecake, Diddy forced his minions to stand outside a building reading aloud Russell Simmons's autobiography. As he keeps saying, becoming a hip-hop star is not a game. The artists are near mutiny, not to mention all the intra-group squabbles that are constantly simmering. I highly recommend you catch this revealing, entertaining look at the rap game.

 
A Blog on BAWGs

As we approch the NBA draft, I feel it is my duty to expose one of the most troubling trends of recent draft history. Despite extensive evidence that would warn against it, NBA GMs have refused to learn from past mistakes and continue to use high picks on Big American White Guys (henceforth referred to as BAWGs). Throughout the last decade, white American shooters like Mike Miller and Wally Szczerbiak have been solid contributors and several white forgeign big men like Dirk Nowitzki and Pau Gasol have done exceptionally well. But for whatever reason, BAWGs drafted in the lottery have been huge, unequivocal flops. I don't mean to be racist here, but I mean, come on- the evidence speaks for itself. Using this terrific Page 2 column as a research tool, I've compiled a list of every American white player 6'9" or taller taken in the lottery since 1992:

'92- Christian Laettner, 3rd overall: It's a travesty he made the Dream Team.

’92- Tom Guglitotta, 6th: I still can’t believe the Warriors traded Chris Webber for this guy.

’92- Adam Keefe, 10th: Sorry to hate on a Stanford guy, but puh-lease.

’93- Shawn Bradley, 2nd: Yes folks, it is possible to be 7’6” and suck at basketball.

’94- Eric Montross, 9th: Great as a Tar Heel, invisible as a Celtic.

’95- Cherokee Parks, 12th: Not only a BAWG, but a Duke player, so how could he not be a bust?

’96- Todd Fuller, 11th: Ugh. The Warriors passed up Kobe, Peja, Steve Nash and Jermaine O’Neal for this chump.

’97 Keith Van Horn, 2nd: The most accomplished player on this list, but not enough for a Number 2 pick.

’98- Raef LaFrentz, 3rd: Third overall? His superb teammate Dirk was taken 9th in this draft.

’00- Chris Mihm, 7th: You know it’s bad when you can’t get off the bench in Cleveland.

’00- Joel Przybilla, 9th: I would make an informed comment here, but I’m not sure this guy actually exists.

’02- Mike Dunleavy Jr., 3rd: Another Duke draft bust. Another Warriors blunder.

There you have it: not a single above-average player. And let’s not forget about all the BAWGs taken after the lottery (Curtis Borchardt anyone?). This is why I am so baffled that Chris Kaman and Nick Collison are projected in the top 10 for Thursday’s draft. Why can’t people learn that sometimes it’s OK to judge a book by its cover? Repeat after me, there has not been a great BAWG since Kevin McHale! So please Golden State, beware the BAWG.

 
Tennis is the Least of Her Worries

One of the stories coming out of Wimbledon concerns an issue much bigger than the sport itself. Ninth seed Daniela Hantuchova has become a cause for concern, not for her play but for her extremely low weight. While obviously no one knows for sure, many have speculated that anorexia is to blame for her alarming thinness (scroll down a third of the page). For all the talk about how male athletes use their body structures to cheat the game (i.e. steroids in baseball), something as sad as Hantuchova's situation reminds us that athletes can also abuse their own bodies. Now I know that the issues causing eating disorders are far deeper than just an athlete with an obsessive training regimen. But hopefully other athletes, both male and female, can look at this and realize that altering your body's natural structure can be very dangerous.

 
THE ROUNDUP

Oh, what would we do without the antics of Jose Canseco. Somehow, Mr. 40/40 managed to test positive for steroids, a year after retiring from baseball, while under house arrest. Can we get him and Lawrence Taylor on a special edition of Celebrity Boxing?

In an interview airing tonight, Bob Costas asked LeBron James whether his allegiance will be towards the Cavs or Nike. LeBron, who still has a lot to learn about media politics, answered "I think it's going to be 50-50." I guess it's understandable given that his Nike contract will be five times as lucrative as his NBA one. So I guess this means Michael Jordan is going to be calling him saying "LeBron, the shoes aren't selling well in Detroit. We need you to give us three windmill dunks against the Pistons."

I don't follow boxing much, but I think I'm going to check out the Lewis-Klitschko fight tomorrow. Since this is the rare fight not on pay-per-view (and since I still get HBO), this is a good opportunity to observe the ridiculous hoopla surrounding a heavyweight fight. I'll watch pretty much any sporting event if the stakes are high. Plus, the good thing about boxing is that it's the only sport where the entire match is sudden-death.

 
The Craig Kilborn Experience

Yesterday I woke up and thought "Gee, I have only one week left living in LA. I don't have much to do today, so why not try to do the one tourist activity I haven't yet done: get into a studio audience." I succeeded in doing just that, as I was in the audience of last night's Late Late Show with Craig Kilborn. I don't really like Kilborn and I would rather have seen a sitcom or gameshow, but since we're in summer hiatus season, talk shows are the only thing taping.

Despite the woefully tiny audience of just 87 people, securing tickets on the day of the show was a breeze. I printed my free ticket off their website and showed up at the studio at 3:30. I'm still not sure why they made us arrive a full 2 1/2 hours before the show started, but I do know that the guy in charge of rounding up the audience really hates his job. After suffering though the warm-up-the-crowd comedian, the show began with a performance from Jewel (they film segments out of order). The highlight of her set was actually before she started singing: After some guy yelled out "I love you!", Jewel yelled back "I love you too... no really, I mean I want to have sex with you." Oh, celebrities say the darndest things off camera.

The show itself was a painful reminder of why I never watch The Late Late Show. Kilborn's jokes were lame and smarmy while his interviewing skills were subpar. When talking to Terminator 3's Nick Stahl, Kilborn accidentally called him Arnold. But the worst part was that the stage managers practically held guns to our heads as they made us laugh, cheer and clap until our hands were sore. I'm not sure whether I should even bother trying to attend The Tonight Show next week now that I know how much effort it takes to be a big-time late night audience member. Sure I got to see Jewel's cleavage up close and got on camera for about a second and a half, but was it really worth it?

My new goal is to scour through the flood of acting gigs posted on Craig's List to see if I can win a part as an extra in a music video or something. I'm more than happy to play a towel-waving thug.

 
Bargain Hunter Beware

This week's Newsweek has a great article about the maddeningly complex system of product rebates. I had often wondered why it was that companies were so generous as to knock $40 off a digital camera. But that was before I bought my flat screen computer monitor last fall. The requirements for the rebate were not only ridiculous (I had to cut out a chunk of the box that had the UPC code and price sticker) but hard to find. Best Buy gave me this receipt that was about two feet long and hidden in the fine print were the myriad of instructions I needed to follow. Plus I had to wait several weeks for my check.

I now understand that rebates are not free gifts, but rewards that can only be earned with a significant amount of effort on the buyer's part. Manufacturers know that the average consumer either won't bother to jump through all of the hoops or won't jump them correctly. When company profits are concerned there is no such thing as generosity.

 
The Candy Awards

OK, now on to the topic Ben suggested: greatest candies of all time. This will surely be a highly controversial subject, as BA is regarded as an expert in the field of candy consumption. But I am a fearless blogger and I shall offer my opinions without apologies:

BEST CANDY OF-THE-MOMENT: Snicker's Crunch
I have fallen in love with this bar, as the unique crunchy texture is irresistible. It's not as tough as Nutrageous and not as caramelly as regular Snickers- perfect. I could eat five or six of these things in one sitting. It's the hottest thing on the shelves.

BEST HARD CANDY: Green Apple Jolly Ranchers
I normally find hard candies to be too sweet- candy makers too often focus exclusively on sugar while neglecting flavor. But the green jollies are the exception to the rule. Jolly Ranchers were a staple of my 5th and 6th grade life and hold a special place in my heart.

BEST MOVIE THEATER CANDY: Junior Mints
The way they rattle in the box, the fact that they're easily share-able and the burst of flavor in each piece make these the perfect movie companion.

BEST CANDY THAT ISN'T EXACTLY A CANDY: Yogurt-covered pretzels
As a kid I had always seen these in grocery store bins and thought they looked to weird to try. But after they started packaging them as "Flipz" and someone offered them to me for the first time, I fell in love.

BEST CANDY THAT REQUIRES A SMALL AMOUNT OF SUFFERING: Sour Gummy Worms
I am very sensitive to sour flavors, as my mouth ties up in a knot whenever I eat these things. But these babies are so chewy and flavorful they are well worth the oral aggravation.

BEST CANDY THAT'S NO LONGER ON THE SHELVES: Hershey's Cookies 'n Mint
Why oh why was this delicious chocolate bar mercilessly yanked from shelves? They used to be all over the place but nowadays you'd have to organize a search party to find one.

MOST UNDERRATED CANDY: Peanut Butter M&Ms
They are overshadowed both by Reese's Pieces and the more accessible Peanut M&Ms, but the PB version is the true gem. The pieces are bigger and creamier than Reese's Pieces and I wish you could find these things in vending machines. Besides, Reese's best work comes in the form of...

THE BEST CANDY OF ALL TIME: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Oh, how to describe the joy of cramming a whole one of these in your mouth. These things were pure gold on Halloween- the night's haul could be accurately gauged by how many Cups were in your bag. The mini versions are also highly addictive. Damn, now I'm craving one right now.

 
Dear Readers,

Please excuse the dearth of blog entries over the past week, as I have been at Stanford for the past five days. But now that my sister's graduation hoopla (complete with six aunts, five cousins and one grandma in town) is finally over, I am back in full blog mode. And what better welcome back to LA could I ask for than a live police car chase, which is currently airing on Channel 11? Gee, I'll miss this city.

 
There when you need 'em

Well, it's official. Steve Kerr has become the WD-40 of this year's playoffs: if it's broke, he'll fix it. His two clutch fourth quarter shots last night only gave him five points, but the way he came off the bench and produced were positively Horry-like. Speaking of our favorite Will Smith clone, ESPN's Bill Simmons pointed out that if the Spurs win tomorrow, either Kerr or Horry will have been a part of the last ten NBA champions. Every team needs their lucky charm.

 
The Great College Match-Up, Part 2

The list continues. Man, I could write a book on this.

INDIANA BBALL = ALABAMA FOOTBALL

Rich in tradition, numerous national titles and legendary coaches (not to mention ugly coach firings in recent years) make these schools a perfect match.

FLORIDA BBALL = TEXAS FOOTBALL
Call them the elite underachievers. Both teams have had top recruiting classes in past five years, but haven’t been able to reach full potential on the field. These teams both start the season in the top five but always slip-up and fail to win the conference. And both teams just lost their embattled senior leader (Chris Simms for the Longhorns and Brett Nelson for the Gators)— and may end up better for it. Addition by subtraction?

MICHIGAN ST. BBALL = OHIO ST. FOOTBALL
These programs have long had big success in the Big Ten, but nationally, they’ve been juuust outside the very top tier. However, young new coaches have come in, quickly won a title and have these programs in very strong shape.

SYRACUSE BBALL = USC FOOTBALL
A long list of great players and a history great conference success make these two a good match.

UCONN BBALL = TENNESSEE FOOTBALL
Marquee players Ray Allen and Peyton Manning couldn’t quite win it all, but both schools’ big name coaches finally came through with a title in 1999.

GEORGETOWN BBALL = PENN ST. FOOTBALL
Two programs that were huge from the early ‘80s through the mid ‘90s. But now that we’re past the heyday of John Thompson and Joe Paterno, both schools have struggled to reach their past heights.

STANFORD BBALL = VIRGINIA TECH FOOTBALL
Both schools were far off the national landscape until the mid ‘90s. But thanks to underrated coaches (Monty and Frank Beamer) and previously unsung stars (Arthur Lee and Michael Vick) both programs vaulted into the national spotlight with runs to the Final Four and Sugar Bowl, respectively. And despite having higher profile rivals in their conference, both of these schools have remained top-flight programs over the past few years, consistently surpassing expectations.