Glick is back

While I'm certainly gonna miss my weekly fix of Chappelle's Show, a rare sketch comedy show that was actually funny, Comedy Central couldn't have picked a better show to fill the Wednesday 10:30 void. Prime Time Glick returns tonight after a long layoff and I'm really excited to have it back. For those unfamiliar, Martin Short plays Jiminy Glick, the obese, clueless host of this fake late night talk show. While most of the sketches and jokes on the show are hit-or-miss, the real gems are the celebrity interviews. Stars like Steven Spielberg, Ray Romano, and Ice Cube come on the show and play themselves and Glick takes them through these ridiculous and bizzare interviews. Hilarity ensues. It's an acquired taste that's definitely worth sampling.

 
Hell Yes.net!

I'm sure I'm not the only person who finds modern radio to be tremendously frustrating at times. Endless commercial breaks (that occur simultaneously on all stations), repetetive playlists, the way they continue to play songs months and months after you got sick of them-- they all contribute to the collective radio headache. But one web site has the solution to one of the most vexing aspects of radio these days- they never tell you the names of the damn songs! The folks at Yes.net have somehow created an online playlist of every radio station in the country. And the most impressive thing about it is that they're all time-stamped, so you can get the name to any song as long as you remember when it was that you heard it. It's a bit behind realtime, but it's still awesome if you want to know the name of that song you heard on Power 106 on the way to work this morning.

 
THE ROUNDUP

What in the world is going on in the Iowa State basketball program? Apparently, Larry Eustachy thinks he's on the set of Old School, and that it's cool to drink and partying with college students when you're on a road trip. This comes two months after an ISU assistant had to resign over child pornography charges. Gee, think the student sections at Kansas and Mizzou will be excited when the Cyclones visit next season?

Many Hollywood analysts are very surprised about The Real Cancun's dismal showing at the box office this weekend. I too expected it to do more than $2.3 million. But the reason that I didn't see it this weekend (and I do indeed want to see the movie) is that I think it will actually be better on DVD than it is in the theater. The DVD will surely contain tons of bonus footage and plus you won't have to feel like a sleazeball by paying $7.50 to go out and see it at a cinema. I think audiences were tempted, but then realized that reality is a genre best seen on the small screen.

I watched the ninth inning of Kevin Millwood's no-hitter with mixed emotions yesterday. On the one hand my beloved Giants (aka the G-Unit) had the tying man aboard with two outs and the heart of the order coming up. "One swing and we can win the game and send these fans home crying," I thought. On the other hand, it's awfully tough to root against a guy with a no-hitter and it is just one loss in a 162-game season. No-hitters have had a special place in my heart ever since I watched the entirety of Dave Stewart's 1990 no-no for the Oakland A's. I don't think I've been more tense watching a baseball game and that includes Game 7 of last year's World Series.

 
The Estranged Bryants

Before anyone accuses me of converting to Laker fandom, let me state for the record that despite living in LA, I still loathe the Lakers and always root against them. But I couldn't help but be moved by today's LA Times article detailing Kobe Bryant's two-year estrangement from his father, former NBA star Joe "Jellybean" Bryant. The crux of the rift appears to be the fact that Kobe did not marry a black woman and as a result, Joe wants no part of his son's life. What a waste of what was once a great father-son relationship.

 
NFL Draft musings

* Nice to see that both Stanford day-one draftees will be staying in the Bay Area. I think the Raiders made a mistake in taking Teyo so high (I'm sure they could have traded down and still gotten him) but at least he'll have some time to develop. Because after all, Teyo was recruited to Stanford as a QB and has only been playing WR for two years of his life. At least he'll be able to learn from two Hall-of-Famers.

* I'm satisfied but not thrilled with the 49ers picks. If Kwame Harris gets some good coaching he could be very solid because he's so huge. But I wish the Niners used the first-round pick on our two most pressing needs: defensive end or wide receiver. Hopefully our second and third picks will shore up the subpar defensive line. And please Niners, take a chance on a WR in the fourth round like Kareem Kelly, Mike Bush or Justin Gage.

* I think Willis McGahee's agent would make an excellent used car salesman. I mean, two weeks ago people were talking about McGahee going in the 3rd round. But his agent somehow got the buzz going, made all these optimistic promises about his health, raised his media profile tremendously and got him drafted at 23. I think the Bills may have got swept up in the hype and picked a guy they really don't need. Your first round draft pick shouldn't be a player who'll be third on your depth chart (let alone sit on the DL for most of the year).

* Those EA Sports commercials with Ray Lewis are awesome. The one where he brings Terrell Suggs his sacks of laundry is especially hilarious. And I wish my voice sounded like that badass EA Sports narrator.

 
Badly Drawn, Better Sung

I recently rented About a Boy, which I had been meaning to see for a long time. It was worth the wait, as I thought it was witty, well-acted and much deeper than I expected. But one aspect of the movie that really stood out was the music. English singer/songwriter Badly Drawn Boy performed the enitre soundtrack and some of his songs are really terrific. It's hard to describe his sound- kind of Beck meets Fiona Apple meets Sgt. Pepper-era Beatles. I've read up on him a little bit and, like many talented British artists, he's been big over there for years and still waiting to blow up in the States. Since I'm too cheap to actually buy the soundtrack I downloaded a bunch of Badly Drawn Boy's songs. After a few weeks of listening I must say that I very highly recommend "Above You, Below Me" and "A Minor Incident." Two outstanding songs from curiously-named artist.

 
Compassionate my ass

I was aghast at the news today that the White House issued a statement supporting homophobic Senator Rick Santorum. After 4 days of silence, the president waited, pondered, contemplated and stalled before deciding to give a bigot a big pat on the back. To me this sends a pretty clear message that our president is much more conservative than any of us thought on Election Day 2000, is totally ignorant about sexual orientation and has little regard for anyone who doesn't share his back-asswards idea of "family values." The issue that really gets me is that Santorum, and apparently Bush as well, have the nerve to try and separate "being a homosexual" (which is A-OK) and "committing homosexual acts" (which is totally unacceptable!!!). Do they expect gay people to just remain celibate their entire lives? What a sad state of affairs.

 
Whoever you are, this movie is for you!

I'm always amazed at how blatantly movie studios change their marketing strategies to appeal to different audiences. Last night while watching The Bernie Mac Show, I saw an ad for the new movie The Real Cancun. Unlike all the previous ads I'd seen which exclusively feature scenes of white kids partying, drinking and cavorting, this ad last night consisted solely of the two black cast members of the movie. Apparently, the studio thinks they can trick black audiences: Hey if we show two black cast members yelling at each other in our commercial airing during a black TV show, black audiences will think that this is a black movie about black people who go to a black resort in Cancun for spring break! Puh-lease. Just because I watch Bernie Mac it's not like I haven't seen the other 95% of the ads for this movie, which make it clear that non-whites will probably get about 4 minutes of screentime.

The studio behind the movie Holes pulled the same two-faced marketing strategy. In one commercial it was a Goonies-esque romp about a bunch of kids at camp, in another commercial the movie is a supernatural thriller. The Onion even satirized this phenomenon a few months ago with their headline about how Confessions of a Dangerous Mind is being marketed as six different generes. Why do I feel like this story is only half kidding?

 
How to avoid the next Jim Drukenmiller

This year more than most, I've been noticing that NFL Draft projections seem more ridiculous than ever. I've already ridiculed the ascension of bust-to-be Kyle Boller, but I just can't get over the fact that scouts, coaches, GMs and pundits put way too much stock in pre-draft workouts and 40-yard dash times. As SI.com's Stewart Mandel perfectly articulates, it makes much more sense to evaluate draft prospects based on their overall college performance. The current NFL scouting system is woefully flawed, which is why every year some quarterback "comes out of nowhere" to become a successful NFL starter like Tom Brady and Marc Bulger. "[Brady and Bulger] weren't exactly hiding under rocks. They never would have been such surprises if the NFL hadn't so grossly underestimated them in the first place."

I really hope guys like Washington State's Jason Gesser, Colorado's Chris Brown, and Missouri's Justin Gage get drafted on day one and then go on prove that their terrific college careers weren't a fluke.

 
Grow, grassroots, grow!

Well, this is what happens when you try to take college students away from their alcohol. A massive coalition of Stanford students and alumni have created the most active petition on the internet, according to PetitionOnline. At the time of this writing, 1,978 people had voiced their opposition to the university's new booze policy. The thing spread like wildfire over the last 36 hours; when I signed it last night I was number 613. Two minutes later, they were already at 800. While I don't usually put much lot of stock in the power of petitions, I do think that the Stanford administration ought to pay some attention to this for two reasons: 1) It is the equivalent of a third of your undergraduate population and 2) the petition gains credibility from the fact that those who signed the petition won't actually be affected by the policy, which only targets next year's freshmen. But in order for any real change to come, the RFs and faculty will have to step in and voice their opposition.

 
Just when you thought Jay-Z had fallen off...

Yesterday I downloaded one of the most interesting pop songs I've ever heard: "Beware of the Boys (Remix)" by Punjabi MC featuring Jay-Z. The song has an Indian bhangra beat mixed in with the Knight Rider theme. Jigga raps over the first verse and then the rest of the song is a rap/sung combo in a language that I don't understand. Apparently, the original version of the song is a big club hit in Europe and then Jay-Z added his vocal stamp of approval for the Stateside remix. It's definitely the best thing I've heard along this vein since Truth Hurts' "Addictive" last year. Here's hoping the song blows up so that for once we can hear some diverse beats on the radio.

 
Baseball Free-for-All

Am I the only one who thinks that there's been an inordinate amount of brawls in baseball so far? Maybe it's because this season I've been watching Sportscenter more frequently this season, but it seems that not a day goes by without a batter charging the mound. And the thing that irritates me is that you can tell that the majority of these players don't really want to fight. Every time a guy gets plunked, he stomps around the batters box for a few seconds yelling at the pitcher. See, this gives the batters teammates time to clear the dugout so that they can hold him back when he eventually does start running at the mound. It's all too clear that mound-charging is an archaic form of baseball retribution that's so ingrained into the game, that players feel they must participate even when they have no desire to be violent. I think players need to quit with all the huffing and puffing and do one of two things: 1) either charge the mound with genuine anger and really go after the pitcher or 2) turn their vocal frustration to the umpire, who has the power to eject the pitcher. This is what they do in basketball, and it's an effective tactic for levying a penalty on the other team while the victimized player avoids ejection and possible suspension.

 
I'm Back

After a three-day hiatus spent visiting family and friends back in good ol PA, I have returned. I know all you loyal fans of WSYA were suffering, nay, yearning for my blog over the weekend. But fear not, dear readers, the wait is over.

 
The Cooperstown Redemption

Thanks to Gary for telling me about this terrific speech given by Tim Robbins at the National Press Club on Tuesday. The liberal actor recently had his appearance at the Baseball Hall of Fame cancelled because of his anti-war views. My favorite excerpt of the speech is when he points out the hypocrisy of those who favored military action in Iraq but also rail against violence in the media:

"Unlike the rest of the world, our news coverage of this war remains sanitized, without a glimpse of the blood and gore inflicted upon our soldiers or the women and children in Iraq...As we applaud the hard-edged realism of the opening battle scene of Saving Private Ryan, we cringe at the thought of seeing the same on the nightly news. We are told it would be pornographic. We want no part of reality in real life."

Cheers to you, Tim.

 
Chasing Papi Mea Culpa

After finally seeing a commercial for the film Chasing Papi last night, I hereby retract my earlier statements endorsing the release of this film. This "Latino comedy" looks like it's a completely inane piece of trash. And according to the Washington Post, the movie is anything but empowering to Latinos: "Director Linda Mendoza alleges she took on the negligible project to demonstrate the diversity of Hispanic American womanhood. What she demonstrates is a clear grasp of stereotype."

 
THE ROUNDUP

I knew Suge Knight and Tha Row were hardcore, but this is getting ridiculous. While it's nothing new to have one of your rappers "jumped in," I think pressuring an artist to commit canibalism is a wee bit too "gangsta" for me. What is this rap world coming to?

Just when you thought Elizabeth Smart was the most unbelievable missing-persons survival story you'd ever heard, here come the Australians. If I saw this in a movie I would think it was preposterous, but here it is on CNN.

Last night when I turned to Sportscenter and saw a clip of the Kansas City Royals administering a beat-down on a Chicago fan, I naturally assumed it was just a replay of the incident that took place last September. How wrong I was. Think Comiskey Park may need a few more security guards perhaps?

 
The Battle of the Booze

I just heard about Stanford's decision to ban alcohol at dorm events in all-freshman houses. My initial reaction was "No!!! They're taking away one of the best freedoms students have in a house like Branner. This is going to totally erode the trust freshmen have with their RAs and force RAs to be alcohol policemen."

But then a few seconds later I had a second reaction: "Actually, this is a good thing from an RA perspective. Whenever the house has alcohol parties, outsiders come to the dorm and start up trouble, residents puke and the house is left a mess. Besides, there's too much of an alcohol culture in frosh houses anyway."

But then, after reading the entire Daily article, written by my former next door neighbor Will, I had a third, more measured reaction: "You know what? This ban makes for a bold statement, but it actually doesn't have any teeth. The new law says that 'all-freshman dorms will no longer be allowed to serve alcohol at events in their lounges, hallways or outdoor areas.' But we had that rule in Branner to begin with. Whenever we would have keg parties, the keg was never allowed in the lounge, hallways or outdoor areas. The keg was always served out of someone's room. I'm not sure what the alcohol policy was like in other dorms, but this new law won't change Branner much at all. The only area where this could be bad is if the law encourages dorms to eliminate alcohol altogether. It would be terrible if RAs were pressured to confiscate alcohol from their residents. Without that openness between staff and residents, there would be freshmen getting drunk and sick behind closed doors, which is totally counterproductive. Here's hoping that the administration and RFs really listen to the RAs's concerns so that this new law doesn't make things worse."

 
The Name Game

Last night while waiting to fall asleep, a random thought crept into my head. How do celebrities who use nicknames sign their names? When Tiger Woods signs autographs for fans, he signs "Tiger Woods." But Tiger's real first name is Eldrick, so I would assume that he has to sign his legal documents with his legal name "Eldrick Woods." So does that mean he has to have two signatures? How does one mentally keep track of which one to use? This must get annoying for celebrities with stage names, like Snoop Dogg (Calvin Broadus) and Tom Cruise (Thomas Mapother). If you accidentally sign a contract with your stage name, is the contract then voided? It must get awfully confusing for a guy like Sean "P. Diddy" Combs, who's constantly switching back-and-forth from businessman to rapper (to rapper with different moniker).

Then again, maybe all these celebrities are a step ahead of me, which would explain why so many of them have signatures that can barely be deciphered. That way, they can just have one all-purpose signature for all their autographical needs.

 
The Wrath of The Establishment

While taking my usual stroll through various entertainment news media the past few days, I've noticed a common theme: Everybody and their grandmother wants to spoil The Matrix Reloaded for me.

The Matrix sequels are off the charts on my personal anticipation meter, as is the case with most people. Now, once I know that I want to see a particular movie, I don't need to hear a single thing about it. I don't read reviews until after the movie, and I don't even like hearing plot synopses. But the problem is, The Establishment is determined to ruin the experience for me. Entertainment Weekly, in their second Reloaded preview in the past year, blares "Everything You Need to Plug Into The Movie Event of the Year," aggressively trying to bombard me character and plot details. Entertainment Tonight will not rest until I watch one of their infinite behind-the-scenes exclusive previews. My buddy at work spends all day scheming about how he's going to ambush me with detailed descriptions of the latest Reloaded trailer. It's a daily battle to stay uninformed.

Am I the only person who feels that the highly-anticipated Event Movies is a dish best served fresh? As far as I can remember, there was absolutely nothing I needed to know before I saw Spider-Man, Attack of the Clones, Minority Report or any of the other recent summer blockbusters. At no point during the movies did any character make reference to a prerequisite Access Hollywood scoop. So I plead to The Establishment: stop trying to co-opt my enjoyment of The Matrix Reloaded! Stop trying to get me more excited! You already have my vote, so just end the campaign and stay out of my life!

 
Station Break

Kudos to Nike for resurrecting their old Michael Jordan/Spike Lee commercials from the early '90s. During today's Blazers-Lakers game, we've been treated to several of the black-and-white ads in the series, all of which were directed by Lee. Even though the ads are pretty random, it's nice to see the young Jordan in all his dunking glory and Spike as the ultimate Nike pitchman, Mars Blackmon. Very retro cool.

As a matter of fact, lately there have been a couple of TV ads that I really like. First there's the Mountain Dew Code Red commercial where the basketball mascot gets his dunk rejected by a guy coming out of the crowd. Not only is it an awesome basketball play, it's hilarious. Then there's the Gatorade ad where Yao Ming is playing against a 10 year-old kid. While Yao isn't the most eloquent actor, seeing him break down the kid's garage-door backboard on a thunderous dunk makes for a great performance. And finally, there's the Boost Mobile commercial with the old Asian guy. Even though it's a cheap gimmick, hearing this old guy talk in street lingo while all the rice rockets in the background is pretty damn funny. "Five-oh! Five-oh!"

 
Minority Reports

There are two new movies that will attempt to gain widespread success by tapping into "underserved" minority groups. Better Luck Tomorrow and Chasing Papi were both made on the cheap, and have casts and filmmakers who are Asian American and Latino respectively. But both movies also bear the burden of having to be successful in order for future "ethnic-centered" films to get made. It's sad that these types of movies have to rely on word-of-mouth to gain an audience, while studios spend tens of millions marketing bigger pictures. BLT director Justin Lin is even distributing an email he wrote, in an attempt to start a grassroots campaign. In the email he writes "This Friday, we open in LA, San Francisco, Chicago and New York. How we do in these first cities will determine if the rest of the country will get to see us at all." What a shame.

I am well aware that all of these studio decisions are about money and are not inherently racist. But the flaw I see is that these small-time films are never able to break out of the self-perpetuating system of low exposure. If these minority-made films never get the chance to get a wide release (of, say 1000 screens the first weekend instead of 10), how will they get to prove that they can draw an audience? It's not fair to keep them on such limited low-profile release schedules, especially when My Big Fat Greek Wedding just proved that white anglo audiences will indeed embrace a movie about a different ethnicity.

 
Reality Central

I'm loving the new set of faux reality TV commercials that are appearing on Comedy Central. The ads, which air at the beginning and end of The Daily Show, Chapelle's Show and the like, depict a "new reality show coming soon" that has some Can-This-Be-True? premise. The joke of course, is that they're not and at the end they show the tagline "get real" and the Comedy Central logo. My favorite "ads":

Joe Mormon (where a polygamist bachelor gets to pick four women to marry)
Handicap House (a Real World filled with all kinds of disabled people)
While You Were Drunk (where contestants get wasted then hook up with strangers)
Really Blind Date (which is just Blind Date with actual blind people)

The sad thing is, these premises are actually plausible given what's being put out by Fox these days. If only Comedy Central would do another season of their hilarious reality spoof Contest Searchlight.

 
Bling Bling or Big Bust?

I'm quite intrigued by UPN's new series Platinum (And yes, this is the first time I've ever been intrigued by a UPN series). The show, which will premiere on Monday, follows two brothers who run an independent hip hop label in New York. First of all, it's great to have a drama series that stars minorities since, with the exception of the on-hiatus Kingpin, there are exactly zero of them on network television. I just hope that the portrayls of black characters are honest: not over-the-top and not overly PC. Secondly, I think it's cool that hip hop has become mainstream enough that it can be the subject of a primetime show. Whether or not the music in Platinum is any good (I doubt it will be), I think the whole hip-hop world of excess, hype, feuds and competetiveness will make for an excellent dramatic backdrop. Here's hoping UPN can actually produce a quality series.

 
LIST-O-RAMA
Top teams for 2003-2004

With Syracuse capping off another great college basketball season last night, it's already time for us hoopheads to start thinking about next season. We still don't know which college underclassmen and prized high school recruits will be going pro yet, so I'll have to make some assuptions (TJ Ford: stays. Dwyane Wade: draft) but it's still fun to speculate. Here's my prediction for how the top twelve will look at the end of the regular season:

1. Florida. Lee, Walsh, Roberson and Drejer are four talented returnees and Billy Donovan is an outstanding coach and recruiter. This is a program that will be elite for a long, long time. Losing Bonner will hurt, but the departure of Brett Nelson will be addition by subtraction.

2. Texas. TJ Ford has a chance to be a two-time national Player-of-the-Year and the Longhorns return every significant player they had this year. I would've picked them for the top spot, but the Big 12 will once again be the toughest conference in America next year, meaning Texas will lose a few more games than the Gators will.

3. Duke. Ewing and Redick will emerge as the two superstars here, as Duhon has always been overrated. Also, the Devils will bring in the nation's top recruit, Luol Deng.

4. Kentucky. Their super-deep roster only loses Bogans and Camara, so the Wildcats will once again win with their smothering D.

5. Missouri. The addition of transfer Jason Conley means the Tigers will add the nation's top scorer to a roster that includes Arthur Johnson and player-of-the-year candidate Rickey Paulding.

6. UConn. Okafor has said he'll return to wreak havoc in the paint.

7. Michigan State. Their tourney run proved that Izzo guy can reload his roster and coach as good as anyone in the nation.

8. Gonzaga. All but one of their starters return, including WCC Player-of-the-Year Blake Stepp. One benefit of being a mid-major is that the Zags don't face defections to the NBA. Yet.

9. Arizona. Lute ALWAYS reloads. We'll see if incoming freshman PG Mustafa Shakur (who already has the best name in the college basketball) can be another 4-year starter like Jason Gardner was.

10. North Carolina. Roy Williams or not, the Heels will be solid with their star trio of sophomores.

11. Notre Dame. Chris Thomas and Torin Francis will return for a potent inside-outside combo.

12. Stanford. I have high hopes for the Card, since we return four starters and get back a true PG in Chris Hernandez. Our freshmen SG Tim Morris and SF Fred Washington should be able to contribute athleticism off of our deep bench. But the one thing that worries me is how we're going to replace Julius' point production. Childress needs to step up and prove that he's the one of the best players in the conference. Davis and Little have the potential to be dominant inside (like we were from '99 to '01) but they must stay out of foul trouble. If Monty can iron out the kinks, the Pac 10 title is ours.

 
Roy Williams is my hero

Three cheers for Roy Williams for standing up for himself after his Jayhawks lost tonight. CBS reporter Bonnie Bernstein had the gall to ask him TWICE about the UNC job. A despondent Williams tried his best to be polite and say he hadn't thought about it yet (which is an honest answer). But when he got mercilessly pushed for an answer, Williams said, live on CBS "I could give a shit about North Carolina right now." Good for you, Roy.

 
Headline writers need to think outside the Booth

I always knew that headline writers loved puns, but this is ridiculous. Here are some actual headlines about Phone Booth's win at the box office this past weekend:
'''Phone Booth' rings in at No. 1"
"Phone Booth answers Box Office call"
"Phone Booth Dials Up Win"
"'Phone Booth' Rings Up $15 Million Debut"
"Phone Booth Dials Up the Box Office"

These editors are having way too much fun out there.

 
62 games down, one to go

I'm loooking forward to Monday night's national championship game more than any other NCAA title game in recent memory. There are a lot of sentimental reasons to like both teams. For Kansas, you've gotta love Roy Williams and the fact that he spurned the Carolina job 3 years ago to stay and make his own mark in Lawrence. Collison and Hinrich are also easy to root for as two seniors leading their team after coming up short in the Final Four last year.

For the Orangemen, there's the fact that Syracuse is the best college basketball program that's never won a title. It'd be nice to give their fans a win, especially after having lost two previous title games. Then there the fact that Jim Boeheim has built a great program at his alma mater over the past two decades, has yet he never gets mentioned in the same breath with Coach K, Lute Olsen and Bob Knight.

But in the end I'll be rooting for Kansas, just 'cause I've liked them ever since the days of Jacque Vaughn and Paul Pierce. Here's hoping that it'll be a fast-paced, well-played, entertaining game that makes for a fitting end to another terrific college basketball season.

 
Rest in Peace, David Bloom

I was saddened to hear about the death of NBC correspondent David Bloom in Iraq. Only 39 years old, he died of a pulmonary embolism that was unrelated to combat. I always turn to NBC whenever I watch the news and David Bloom has been such a familiar face to me for years. He always gave such precise, high-energy reports whether it was from the White House, the OJ trial or from Iraq. Even though I obviously never met Bloom, for the first time I feel like this war has taken somebody that I know.

 
Daft Drafting

There are many things about the NFL that I do not understand (why people by Bengals season tickets, for instance). But few things are as mystifying as the sudden ascention of Cal quarterback Kyle Boller with respect to the upcoming NFL Draft. Both ESPN.com and SI.com have Boller as a top ten pick in their mock drafts. OK, so Boller put up some decent numbers in his senior season. But anyone who payed attention to this guy over the course of his first three years at Cal (I personally witnessed him stink up the field in three consecutive Big Games) knows that he's nothing resembling a quality QB. He looked like a lost child who's wandered onto a freeway. I really wish pro teams weren't so focused on pre-draft workouts and 40 yard-dash times, but instead evaluated players based on game footage. For every Donnovan McNabb, there's an Akili Smith (who was drafted 3rd overall). I look forward to seeing Boller in NFL Europe by around 2007.

 
Return of the Thought Police

Last week I wrote about how counterproductive it was anti-war protesters to block traffic. While I maintain my stance, I sure as hell don't think lying in a street is an act of terrorism, as do certain Oregon lawmakers. Slapping a "terrorism" label on what is essentially a civil disobedience offense is completely moronic. Does this mean that if the Trailblazers win the NBA title, the several thousand subsequent rioters will all get an automatic 25-year prison sentence? I really wish lawmakers would put in an ounce of thought and foresight into their ridiculous proposals.

 
The Showbiz Bible

One of the perks in my job is that we subscribe to the Hollywood Reporter. Along with Variety, the Reporter is a major entertainment industry "trade" magazine that breaks news of every Hollywood deal, whether it's movie casting or media mergers. It's really cool to be able to get all the news about what's going down (and what's "in talks," meaning it's about to be going down). But what really kills me is all of the ads that various studios and agencies take out in the magazine. During Oscar season it was ridiculous: "For Your Consideration: Daniel Radcliffe for Best Actor in Harry Potter!" There were 30 ads like that every day for every conceivable candidate in every category. But even apart from the Oscar hoopla studios, agencies and management companies randomly take out sycophantic congratulatory ads for famous people. These are real examples of full page ads taken out in the Reporter:

"Universal Pictures proudly congratulates Morgan Freeman on receiving a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame"
"FreeMantle Media congratulates Bob Barker for their much deserved seven Emmy nominations for The Price Is Right"
"William Morris Agency congratulates our 2003 Guild Award winners"

Everybody just relentlessly sucks up to everyone else. It's both sad and funny.

 
Operation: Garner Freedom

In the latest case of celebrity marriage gone wild, Jennifer Garner and Scott Foley have announced their separation. While failed marriage is a sad and serious matter, I must admit I felt a tinge of glee when I heard the news. Garner deserves way better, and the US Weeklys of the world now rejoice as she is finally free to enter the celeb gossip merry-go-round. She is easily one of the hottest women in Hollywood, and Foley is merely a has-been trying to salvage a career post-Felicity. This is a classic case of a guy who overachieved in marriage. Cris Judd, you are not alone.

 
THE ROUNDUP

Another day, another American Idol contestant with an unsavory past. Does it really take that long to discover that one of your contestants was charged with beating his 15 year-old sister? Only on Fox.

I think it's a shame that North Carolina coach Matt Doherty was forced to resign after just two bad seasons. UNC improved a lot last year and Doherty would done well in a weak ACC next year. But then again, it's hard to argue with a mass player mutiny. In any case, I think Roy Williams will take the Carolina job if Kansas wins on Monday. But I hope he stays and continues his own legacy at KU.

There's a huge archive of interesting political cartoons on the war up at Slate. The site is updated every day and I find that it's a great way to take quick pulse on the various war-related opinions from across America and around the world.